So I did something on a whim tonight sports fans. Bored, lucha starved and not yet ready to continue my The Last of Us: Part II playthrough or my pilgrimage through Everwood, I decided to splurge $7.99 on a Mas Lucha premium membership to watch IWRG’s 59 Revolucion show. Or as it’s officially called (I guess?) the IWRG Moreno Family 59th Anniversary Show. Cause it’s celebrating the family right? I am no regular IWRG viewer, but I’m well aware of the Arena Naucalpan based promotion (they had the greatest mask vs. mask match of the last decade in Trauma I vs. Canis Lupus) and this show seemed big enough, thanks to a main event featuring LA Park and Psycho Clown, that it was worth checking out. Was it? Yes and no. The show, clocking in at almost four and a half hours, was far too long for its own good, featured a few notable gafs, one injury scare and matches that mostly ranged from mediocre to “just good.” I have easily seen better shows in Mexico and the US this year. And yet, it ended up being worth it thanks to a nice ceremony honoring a lucha legend, and a surprise semi-main event tag team match which, in my view, tore the damn house down and made a late push for lucha MOTY. So overall, I guess it was all good. Judge for yourselves now as I relive it in this review, with far fewer jokes than expected. What can I say; I’m tired dammit.

 

 

Limbo & Shalom defeated Hell Boy & Rey Halcon after Limbo pinned Hell Boy with a Brainbuster and Shalom pinned Halcon with a Air Raid Crash. This was a match that featured a dude diving from the top rope into the crowd, and it was nowhere near the most memorable moment of the match. That honor goes to Limbo trying a springboard from the second rope early in the match, and instead snapping it with a Double Stomp that would move Finn Balor to tears. It certainly moved me to tears…of laughter! It took me a good two minutes before I finally cooled down from this one!

 

 

This was obviously a huge hindrance for all four of the luchadores here and thus I’m inclined to give them a bit of a pass, especially since they were changing spots on the fly because the second rope was deader than the hopes of a Lena Luthor/Kara Danvers romance. That said, I don’t get the feeling an operational second rope would’ve been a huge help. The guys tried and there were some good spots, but all four luchadores felt REALLY indie. I was honestly stunned there wasn’t an outbreak of Destroyers how these guys worked. Limbo and Shalom looked like they could do a bit more but basically kept it simple, while Rey Halcon came off as a dude who should not do dives (he tried a tornillo and let’s just say…no) and Hell Boy, who looks like if Matt Taven and Heavy Metal sprung an offspring after a torrid love affair, should be banned from doing crowd dives. Those should be cool, especially in Arena Naucalpan (land of the crowd dives) and this one was why the Abed gif was invested. Not great Bob! Again, I’m willing to cut them some slack here because the rope thing was unexpected. Even with it though, I’m guessing this opener would’ve been lamer than finding out Spider-Man: No Way Home spoilers on Twitter. And yes, I’m still mad about that! **

 

Benga Lee, Diosa Quetzal and Noisy Boy defeated Fly Warrior, Lolita and Satania after Noisy Boy pinned Fly Warrior with a Tornillo Hurricanrana off the top rope. This match was, in a word, NUTS! It wasn’t always the good kind of nuts either; the communication in this match at times ran from good to abysmal, several spots seemed on the verge of falling apart and didn’t look great and there were times it felt like I was more trained for lucha libre than Santania and Fly Warrior. And Fly Warrior is a guy I’ve known about for years! Somehow though these six kept going, they all worked hard and as the dives got crazier and crazier, the more entertained I got. Huge credit must go to Diosa Quetzal and Noisy Boy, easily the two best workers coming in. I wouldn’t say this was their best night (although in their defense, look at who they worked with), but they worked so hard they almost willed the match into being better, and Noisy Boy in particular was so jaw dropping in the latter third. He’s got, as the kids would say, something; there’s work to be done and he definitely needs a bit more polish, but if Noisy Boy keeps on this path, he’ll be in that Kommander/Iron Kid tier of “guys who are awesome and ready to break out if they just get a shot.” He starred here, Quetzal wasn’t far behind him, and the rest worked hard enough and got enough momentum in the second half to make this a good, if wobbly, effort. *** ½ 

 

Gran Pandemonium, Hijo Del Pandemonium and Pandemonium defeated Freelance, Rasputín and Sick Boy after two of the Pandemonium’s pinned Rasputin and Sick Boy after a Muscle Buster and a Lionsault. The finish was secondary here; the real story was Freelance, a replacement for Aster Boy, nearly breaking his neck when the Pandemonium’s attempted to flip him out of the corner, only for Freelance to land on the crown of his head on impact. He wound up in a neck brace and somehow walked out on his own power, though he didn’t finish the match. Up till the injury I’d say this match was humming. The Pandemonium’s worked great as rudos and had tremendous trios chemistry, Freelance was Freelance and boy did I love this Rasputin. He’s got great charisma, great ability and stuck out as someone who could have Mr. Iguana like potential throughout the match. Unfortunately after Freelance got hurt he was the only one that stood out. The injury not only forced all the luchadores to work around Freelance in the ring (inexplicably, whoever treated him did so in the ring WHILE THE ACTION WAS GOING ON!), but it also forced Sick Boy to work more and…yeah he’s no good. He gave off huge Pagano vibes of someone who tries hard, but doesn’t have the athleticism to pull off his more grand ideas. That, me being worried about Freelance and the match continuing while he was being tended to, really took me out of things. It’s a shame because this was trending towards really good, and instead wound up being middling, and bordering on poor taste. * 1/2 

 

Arez, Látigo and Toxin (Los Vipers) defeated Oficial 911, Oficial AK47 and Oficial Fierro (Los Oficiales) after Toxin pinned 911 following an Arez Double Stomp. LOS VIPERS 2021 HAS FINALLY WON A MATCH AS A TRIO!

 

 

Of course this match happened in IWRG and not AAA so I’m not sure it counts.

 

 

Anyways, this was a good match. It was also, probably, the least exciting match you’re ever going to see Arez, Latigo and Toxin in. These are three of the most talented luchadores in the game today and here they worked what I would describe as a typical AAA main event. It began with the rudos having a long, LONG heat sequence, which led into Los Vipers having a long, LONG period of control, followed by the two teams finally having a match. That final stretch was very good and neither of the heat sequences were bad, but it also wasn’t all that exciting either. Some of that is because 911, AK47 and Fierro not being workers who would mesh well with Los Vipers’ more modern, innovative style, but even then, I’m not sure we needed those heat segments to go that long. Like I said though, the heat sequences weren’t bad, the final stretch was good, Los Oficiales remain reliable workers even if the gimmick is long in the tooth, and Arez, Latigo and Toxin are still good even toned down. From a work standpoint, this was definitely the best thing on this show to this point. Afterwards Jessy Ventura came out to challenge Toxin (he’s IWRG Mexico Champion after all) and Toxin ended up chasing Ventura away with a broom. Somewhere Psycho Clown is incensed; YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BREAK A BROOM WHEN YOU GET IT! *** ¼

 

Big Mami, Hijo del Alebrije and Niño Hamburguesa defeated Big Boy, Big Chico Che and Big Mike (Los Strippers Big) after Hamburguea pinned Chico Che with a second rope leg drop. This match was a bit sad sports fans. Why; because Big Mami had to fight Los Strippers Big! My how things have changed since that wonderful lap dance after the hair match with Lady Maravilla at Guerra de Titanes 2019. 

 

 

This match was…fine? Honestly this was another one that would’ve benefited by being shorter and not having a Star Trek: The Motion Picture style pace. The stuff Los Strippers Big, Mami and Hamburgesa do well was very well done, and the match was at its best when it was comedic. Of course the comedy was also mixed in with Mike, Big Boy and Chico Che seemingly running away from lumberjacks half the match (oh yeah; this was a lumberjack match. Did Konnan book this?) and Hijo del Alebrije having a real rough night. He tried hard, but he was botching like mad during his showcase sequence near the end, to the point that even his cool crowd dive couldn’t really make up for it. There’s enough to like if you enjoy Hamburgesa and Mami’s act and I did find it interesting how jealous Hamburguesa was of Mami getting attention from Los Strippers Big before the match (the way he acted towards Mami was pretty rudo-ish honestly), but in the end this match was a bit too long to be what I’d call good. ** ¾ 

A ceremony was held to honor Black Terry, the IWRG legend and 69 year old luchador who somehow remains better than half the people I’ve watched on this card tonight. Mil Mascaras could learn a thing or two from him and El Satanico eh? The Moreno Brothers, who run IWRG, presented Black Terry with a plaque while many luchadores surrounded the ring. Terry also said some words as well, giving thanks to the fans and the promotion, and all the luchadores came in to hug and give thanks to him. Simple but very nice ceremony. Freelance is back in the ring, standing, and they announce he’s okay! Praise be!

 

Alpha Wolf & Dragon Bane defeated Aster Boy & Demonic Flamita after Dragon Bane pinned Aster Boy with a Poison Rana. This was the surprise semi-main event of the show, the first appearance of Alpha Wolf (The Artist Formerly Known as Hijo del Canis Lupus), the first IWRG appearance of Alpha Wolf and Dragon Bane since May, Flamita’s first IWRG appearance in years, the best match on this show and, I shit you not, one of the best matches I’ve seen in Mexico this year. GET ME THE BATMAN GIF!

 

 

Look; I have been the prisoner of the moment here and there in the past and I may be that again here, especially since this match was easily the best thing on this card up to this point by a country mile. But I’m also someone who thinks Alpha Wolf and Dragon Bane can be self indulgent, hit or miss problem children who live down to their potential. Tonight they lived up and then some, and Flamita and Aster Boy were right there with them every step of the way. This match started nuclear hot with a Flamita spear to the floor and never let up. There was big move after big move, incredible tornillo after incredible tornillo, more twists and turns than the Ephram-Amy romance in Everwood, jaw dropper after jaw dropper; do I really need to go on here?! And it wasn’t just the nonstop offense that did the trick. We had some individual sequences here, with Alpha Wolf-Aster Boy and Flamita-Dragon Bane that were just incredible (although Wolf and Aster did almost venture into Davey Richards category of overkill). It really was four workers at the peak of their powers, delivering super smooth, super great lucha at the highest level. It’s exactly the kind of work Wolf and Bane are capable of at their best; if they could do this all the time, they would be mega stars. Flamita meanwhile acquitted himself like one of the best luchadores in the world, which he’s also capable of being every night, and Aster Boy, moved up from earlier in the card for this spot, looked every bit like a performer that belonged in this spot. On a bigger stage, this would be a coming out party for him (hopefully it still is). Call it prisoner of the moment, call it whatever you want; I fucking LOVED this match. Best thing on the show, best lucha match I’ve seen this month and one of the best lucha matches I’ve seen all year. **** ¾

 

And with that, it’s time for bed sports fans. Let’s do this again soon, preferably with a much shorter show. TILL WE MEET AGAIN, a look at Kevin reading this column.

 

 

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