Well sports fans the totally on the up Lucha Bag worked so well (in my humble opinion) last week that I decided today was the perfect time for round 2! Actually I realized I had a few more questions I hadn’t answered, realized there was a CMLL show tomorrow and figured I could combine the two into one column like I did that IWRG show last Saturday. And thus Lucha Bag #2 was born! Let’s now answer some questions from people who totally exist, totally sent these questions in and weren’t me and my friends making them up so I could have something to do on Thursday afternoon.
Who are you endorsing in the CMLL Aniversario polls?
A timely question by the weirdly named Skeegan, given that voting to determine who makes the CMLL 87th Aniversario is still going strong a week into the polls (you can cast your vote here). Fortunately for me the answers are simple! Let’s break it down.
CMLL World Trios Championship Match: Cavernario, Hechicero and Terrible. Let’s be real; this is really a competition between the Cav/Hechi/Terrible team and the Audaz/Star Jr./Titán team (sorry Ephesto, Luciferno and Mephisto). And while I was initially tempted to vote for the technicos, I then remembered that Audaz has given up on being a great luchador for over a year now and that match up would require Star Jr. to work with Último Guerrero, who seems to revile poor Star Jr. the same way I revile Michael Bay’s Pearl Harbor. Ergo that, and the fact that Cavernario and Hechicero against the Guerreros is uber enticing, makes the rudo team the best choice and why they’re currently dominating the vote.
CMLL World Tag Team Championship Match: Rey Cometa and Espíritu Negro. Another easy call. Ángel de Oro and Niebla Roja are a fun team but like a comic book movie sequel, it’s been done and I don’t need to see it again right now. Atlantis Jr. and Stuka Jr. would’ve been an enticing team; unfortunately Atlantis is paired with Flyer, whose confidence level ranges between year 2000 Rick Ankiel and Clifford Franklin, and Stuka is paired with Diamante Azul, who I don’t even need to make a crack at because come on; it’s Diamante Azul! That leaves the team of brothers in Cometa and Negro, and while neither of them is as big a star as the rest of the field, the latter has shown flashes in an undercard role and Rey Cometa is, legit, one of the most underrated luchadores EVER. He’s like Laredo Kid only if Laredo didn’t get the big push in 2019. I don’t know if they’ll get the best match out of Carístico and Mistico (largely because I don’t know how motivated those two will be) but they deserve the chance (especially Cometa) and it’s nice to see the fans agree.
NWA World Historic Welterweight Championship Match: Bandido. I love both Templario and Soberano and it saddens me that Soberano has gotten so little love in the voting thus far. But come on; there’s only one answer here and it’s Bandido, both because he rules and because it would mean BANDIDO VS. VOLADOR JR.! Choosing anything other than that is like having the chance to have a Sunkist and going “nah dude, I’m gonna have Fanta instead.” It’s an instant credibility killer. So yeah; vote Bandido, drink Sunkist and keep your credibility intact.
Mexican National Trios Championship Match: Los Cancerberos del Infierno. I honestly wouldn’t be that upset with any of these picks…well other than the team with Esfinge, but that’s cause of Esfinge. Otherwise the Dinamitas taking on the Casas Family, the Panthers or Los Cancerberos all sound enticing, especially if the Dinamitas will be trying for the first time in a year and a half. In the end though the Panthers and the Casas’ have all had opportunities of this level before, whereas Virus (another all time underrated luchador) has been stuck in midcard purgatory for eons while Cancerbero and Raziel haven’t even been that lucky. And those are two guys we all know can do better and have instead been left to become bitter undercard guys who don’t try because they’re dead inside (CMLL booking everyone!). I can’t see them ever getting a shot like this again, so for that alone they deserve your vote.
CMLL Women’s World Championship Match: Princess Sugehit. This is like choosing between the final season of Castle, the final season of Dexter and any Limp Bizkit album; either way you’re going to find yourself hurting. You’ll be hurting less though if you pick Sugehit at least; she’s more talented than Dalys and Amapola, she tries harder at this stage than Dalys and Amapola and most importantly, she hasn’t wrestled Marcela over 9,000 times like Dalys and Amapola have. So if you have to vote, vote her. Or just tweet CMLL nonstop about how Avispa Dorada should’ve been an option so we could’ve voted for her instead.
CMLL World Micro Estrellas Championship Match: Microman. Because who the hell else could it be? Guapito? Child please!
Mexican National Women’s Championship Match: La Jarochita. I’m well aware she’s got no shot given that this vote has turned into a selfie off between Lluvia and Reyna Isis to get the horniest dudes (and some dudettes) to vote for them. And hey; more power to them. That said, I’m more interested in who can have the best match with Metálica and that would be Jarochita, who isn’t what I’d call a great worker but is definitely going to have a better match with Metálica than Lluvia and especially Reyna and Estrellita would have. So yeah; she gets my vote and I just spent nearly 1K in words on all this. I’m Eric and I approve this message!
If Lucha Underground started today, who would you start the roster with? (can’t used currently signed WWE/AEW guys)
–Jeremiah, Last House of the Left
Well with that criteria I’d just fold it because all the main people I’d use are either in AEW (Lucha Brothers, Angelico, Jack, Sonny, Sammy, Thunder Rosa, Luchasaurus), WWE (Mundo, Fantasma, Strickland) or are dead inside (Ricochet). I mean sure there’s several AAA talents I’d bring in (hello Vikingo and Laredo Kid), a few indie guys who I think LU may have had their eye on (Adrian Quest) and anything that gets AR Fox back on my TV is a good thing. But honestly I’d just let it lie, at least until ten years are past and we can get the LU miniseries off the ground with the whole cast. Excuse me while I now go play “Leave the Memories Alone” and quote the final lines of Planet of the Apes at pictures of Mark Burnett, Robert Rodriguez, John Fogelman and Dorian Roldan.
Why has no one signed Ludark Shaitan?
Trust me; when I have the answer I will let you know because I haven’t figured it out. There is no luchadora out there cooler than Ludark Shaitan, there is no women’s wrestler out there cooler than Ludark Shaitan…seriously, WHY DON’T WE HAVE MORE LUDARK SHAITAN IN OUR LIVES?! I will do anything to change that; hell I’ll go to the papers if I have to! Didn’t that work for Randy Orton once? The point is AAA, CMLL, whoever; sign Ludark. And do it before I win the lottery, get my own promotion and make her the Becky Lynch of lucha libre.
When the question of who’s the next breakout luchador to make it big in the US comes up the one answer everyone seems to agree on is Hijo del Vikingo. So, aside from Vikingo, who do you think has the potential to become the next lucha indie sensation?
–Tim, Destination Unknown
Another great question. Who comes up with these things? Not me that’s for sure! Anyway, there’s a lot of great candidates out there (especially in AAA) for this spot, from the likes of Myzteziz Jr. to Octagón Jr. (aka Golden Magic) to Toxin to Aramis to even a more unknown dude like Iron Kid. If I had to pick though it’s either got to be Arez or Villano III Jr. Arez has already gotten some bookings in the US (including a show stealing performance on the GCW/Black Label Pro show Two Stuffed Cups a year ago) and he’s instantly going to hook you between his unique look, overall smoothness and endless creativity. Meanwhile Villano III Jr. has youth on his side, a well known family name, loads of talent and is completely and utterly batshit crazy. All it takes is one person booking him in the US and his death wish style of lucha will make him instantly. Of all the great young lucha talent out there, those two stand out amongst the pack as being ready to break out in the US with the right opportunity.
What’s worse; the AEW women’s division or the CMLL women’s division?
CMLL women’s division and it ain’t even close. There’s no doubt the AEW women’s division is…well it’s not good, from both a booking and an optics standpoint. For example, while I understand why it’s being put on the pre-show for All Out and I honestly think the show will be better for it, I personally would’ve put Britt Baker vs. Big Swole on the main show. That said, for all of the division’s flaws, I can at least name five matches off the top of my head from THIS YEAR where AEW’s women’s division has absolutely shined. The last CMLL women’s match I enjoyed? Probably Kaho Kobayashi vs. Amapola from last year, and I can’t even name one prior to that. There’s also the fact that around half of the AEW women are missing right now due to either injury or travel restrictions due to COVID; what’s CMLL’s excuse for treating the women’s division like shit with a full roster for years? It’s a no contest; the CMLL women’s division is so bad it makes the AEW women’s division look like Chinatown by comparison. And unfortunately, because it’s lucha libre and, as I said last week, people only care when bricks are being thrown at other luchadores, not a damn thing will change. Now let’s move on before I get hot over this all over again.
Do you think there needs to be a divided micros and Minis division in CMLL?
Man the interesting CMLL questions just keep pouring in. I think most people would say they should be separate, if only because the size difference between someone like Microman and Shockercito is pretty big, even with Shockercito being a Mini-Estrella. That said, I’d do it. The Mini-Estrellas division is practically deader than Maester Mika and the Micros Division only gets by because Chamuel and Microman are involved. You may as well just combine the two, or just scrap the Mini-Estrellas division entirely, move those guys up into the regular division and go with the Microstars only. Either way it’s better than having two divisions wandering aimlessly into oblivion, especially since CMLL already has that problem across the roster.
Which current CMLL luchadores won’t be there when it returns? Do they try to bring in a big name?
–Ricky D., Argus
Given that CMLL is returning tomorrow and no one has appeared to have left or come in, it appears the answers are “everyone will be there” and “no big names are coming in.” Honestly it would’ve have mattered if people had left or someone like LA Park or Dr. Wagner Jr. decided to come in; as long as the CMLL booking committee is the same and the fans are voting for matches, the shows are mostly gonna suck and we’re all going to be living that David Tennant gif.
Why are some juniors like Villano III Jr. and Black Panther so good, while other juniors like their brothers, Hijo del Villano III and Blue Panther Jr., suck?
Hey now; I like Blue Panther Jr.! Sure he’s a little too bulky, has the consistency of Roman Polanski’s filmography (and his morals) and is nowhere near as good as his brother but…wait what was my point again? Honestly, I have no idea why Black Panther and Villano III Jr. are better than their respective brothers, and it gets all the more confusing when you see that Black Panther and Blue Panther Jr. shared the same trainers, as did the Villanos. My gut feeling is that some of it is just one of the brothers picking things up better than the other. The rest then comes down to stuff like Black Panther being lighter and more able to do high flying stuff than his brother (Blue Panther Jr. is way too bulked up for lucha libre in all honesty) while Villano III Jr. is just more charismatic, exciting and willing to do stuff than Hijo del Villano III, who appears unwilling to do anything of note thus far. Or maybe it’s as simple as luchadores are like popcorn in a pan; some pop, some don’t and some are Bobby Z. In which case you just discard him and never think of him again.
How much do you miss Roschfans?
And on that note let’s move on to the CMLL preview.
Diamond vs. El Coyote: Ah to think back on the times where I had forgotten Diamond actually existed. Alas. I don’t know what blackmail he has over CMLL to get him booked on their first show back but my gut tells me his improvement is minimal and that El Coyote, who was at least solid the last I saw of him, will have some carrying to do. Fortunately he’s likely to win this match because CMLL hates happiness, so there is that. Winner: El Coyote.
Audaz & Guerrero Maya Jr. vs. Espíritu Negro & Rey Cometa: Not to turn into Peter Gammons here, but if Audaz has regained his love for lucha libre, if Rey Cometa and Guerrero Maya Jr. are there usually reliable selves and if Espíritu Negro steps up to show people he and his brother are worthy of that tag title shot, this match has a chance to be the first great CMLL match since January. Quite frankly, it may have been a candidate for that even if COVID hadn’t shut CMLL down. Winners: Espíritu Negro and Rey Cometa.
Marcela & Princesa Sugehit vs. Dalys & Reyna Isis: Maybe CMLL can get the rights to the Britt Baker-Big Swole cinematic match and play it over this one? I suppose there’s always a chance things go better than expected but an empty arena Dalys match sounds like the stuff nightmares are made of. Seriously CMLL; get your shit together with the luchadoras already. Winners: Dalys and Reyna Isis.
Bandido, Flyer and Volador Jr. vs. Euforia, Gran Guerrero and Último Guerrero: They had me at Bandido and the UG doing spots. This probably won’t be as good as it could’ve if say Soberano or Titán was in there instead of Flyer (who is likely to botch at least three moves during this match) but the Guerreros are pros (except when UG works Star Jr.), Volador will likely be rejuvenated given the time off and Bandido working with any of the Guerreros is money. Given how the polls are going, we’re probably going to get some Bandido/Volador dissention as well, so that’ll be fun. Winners: Los Guerreros
Cavernario vs. Felino: The Homenaje a Dos Leyendas main event that wasn’t is now the first headlining match of the CMLL return. Don’t worry though; no one’s losing their hair this go around. I seem to recall these guys were merely fine in a quick tangle they had in the winter but Cavernario is one of the best in the world and Felino, even at his age, can still go when he wants to. It should be a solid match…and now I’ve jinxed it, meaning it’ll be an okay match and forget it Cult, it’s CMLL. Winner: Felino.
That’s a wrap. The Lucha Bag will return next week; be sure to send your questions to Lucha Central’s social media platforms, to me directly on Twitter (@CultIcon) or my email (email@example.com) because I am a sucker for punishment. I myself will return tomorrow night for a CMLL review, provided I am, in fact, able to catch the show. TILL THEN!
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