Every time I think my days of reviewing CMLL are long behind me, something comes along to strike inspiration within my slowly decaying soul. And that happened tonight thanks to a…CMLL Tuesday show? Alas, this was not just your run of the mill, season 7 of The X-Files monster-of-the-week episode of CMLL’s Tuesday romp in Arena Mexico. No, instead this show featured a RevPro Cruiserweight Title match between two awesome luchadors, and a cibernetico, which I have dubbed the MJF Invitational, where the winner earned an AEW International Title shot against, you guessed it, Frank Stallone. But seriously, the winner would win the right to challenge AEW’s MJF for the aforementioned International Title next Friday on Super Viernes. When you’ve got shows that big, and the inspiration is hitting, there’s only one thing left to do; set down your PlayStation controller, dust off the keyboard, and make sure that Kevin hasn’t deleted that Charlton Heston meme from The Ten Commandments from the Lucha Central library. Are you ready? I’m ready.
Mercurio, Pequeño Olímpico, Pierrothito defeated Galaxy, Shockercito, Último Dragóncito after Olímpico submitted Galaxy with a modified half crab and Mercurio submitted Shockercito with a modified surfboard. Of all the CMLL minis matches and all the CMLL openers I’ve ever encountered in my travels, this was the most… I guess the word I’m looking for is “eh.” That isn’t to say there wasn’t some nice moments in this match, because there was; I liked the technicos triple dive spot, and Ultimo Dragóncito was quite game for this match, especially when he was in there with Pierrothito. Everyone else except for Galaxy just seemed to be going through the motions though, and unfortunately for Galaxy he a) didn’t do anything as flashy as Dragóncito and b) seemed a bit nervous at times. Maybe he thought MJF was watching the show too? In any event, this is one you won’t remember other than Dragonócito’s dives and Dragóncito’s haircut making him look like the twin brother of the original Psicosis. **¾
Dragón de Fuego & Legendario defeated Hunter & Infarto two falls to one after Fuego pinned Hunter with a Springboard 450 Splash and Legendario pinned Infarto with a regular 450 Splash. They sure love their 450 Splashes, and really, who doesn’t? It’s like pizza; you can never go wrong with it. Unless it’s Papa Ginos. That shit has me turning into that one meme featuring future US Men’s National Team Manager Jose Mourinho whenever someone’s like “we should order that!”
But enough about the only below par pizza chain in the world! This was a match between four young wrestlers and it was pretty much what you’d expect; there was some good, there was some bad. Fortunately, the former outweighed the latter, especially when Fuego and Legendario were on offense. Not everything was clean (a Legendario submission attempt at the end of fall one fell apart spectacularly) but the duo provided plenty of creativity and excitement, including a third fall dive sequence prior to the finish that was exciting as it was dangerous. Hunter and Infarto were solid bases for them as well, which is good because offensively, they had zilch. Both looked slow (Hunter at times looked positively glacial), and a lot of their moves were uglier than that Gnasty Gnorc villain from the first Spyro game. The good news is they had creative ideas, so they aren’t just hitting generic stuff; they just have to get smoother with it, which should occur with more time. Not a perfect match, but the technicos were exciting enough that I’d call it good. ***¼
Gemelo Diablo I, Gemelo Diablo II, Kráneo defeated Dulce Gardenia, Espíritu Negro, Rey Cometa two falls to one after Kráneo pinned Gardenia, Espíritu, and Cometa at the same time (with the Gemelo’s providing leverage of course) after a launching top rope splash. For the first two falls, the most notable things about this bout was referee Edgar Noreiga catching an attempted Mije dive to a huge pop from yours truly, and me being transfixed by all the colorful attires (with all the neon colors Cometa and Espíritu sport, it’s amazing they don’t actually team with Neón). The third fall, however, was quite good, mainly because the match went from the rudos on offense to Cometa and friends strutting their stuff. As a result, we got some really cool dives (including all three technicos diving off the post), some clever sequences that played into Kráneo’s strength (comedy) and a good finish. Everyone pulled their weight, but to me, this was once again a sign that Rey Cometa is vastly, VASTLY underutilized given his skillset. I defy anyone to name a more underrated luchador in the game than him; he remains incredibly explosive, his IQ is off the charts, and he just makes everything better. If I were Tony Khan, this is a guy I’m working to get on AEW or ROH TV. Hell, if I were MJF, this would’ve been the guy I wanted to face next week. Just goes to show that MJF fears Rey Cometa. Not a surprise at all. ***½
Neón (c) defeated Bárbaro Cavernario to retain the RevPro British Cruiserweight Championship. This was Neón’s second title defense. The finish came after Neón pinned Cavernario with an Imploding Senton; it looked to me that Cavernario kicked out before the three count, and replays showed that was exactly the case. Nice going Edgar! We could’ve had another five to ten minutes of Neón vs. Cavernario goodness, and you have to go and pull the reverse Seth Rollins/Damian Priest. These are moments that one Jean-Luc Picard soundbite were made for.
This was such a downer of a botch on Edgar’s part because this match was trending towards greatness. In fact, it had been trending that way all match, save for a referee stoppage part that seemed clunky, until Cavernario revealed it was all a ruse, which instantly got the already hot crowd even more into this. From there, it was high octane goodness, with Neón providing the fireworks with his spectacular offense, and Cavernario providing the world class charisma and basing. Huge credit has to go to Cavernario here; Neón is an incredible athlete, but because of that it’s easy to forget that he’s had limited experience in singles competition, something that has hindered him. You wouldn’t have known it here, thanks to Cavernario slowing the match down early with his submissions, and being the perfect foil when it was time for Neón to turn things up. All of which makes it an absolute pity that the finish was botched. With a few more minutes, this would’ve been an outstanding match. Instead, it was merely very good. I guess there are worse fates at least. ***¾
Templario defeats Averno, Esfinge, Valiente, Stuka Jr., Flip Gordon, Zandokan Jr., and Rugido in the MJF Invitational to become #1 contender for the AEW International Championship. As a result, Templario will face MJF one on one a week from Friday in Arena Mexico. The finish came after Templario pinned Averno with a Jackknife Cradle following a Super Powerbomb, after poor Averno took forever to get into the right position. He looked just like me trying to pick between Wynonna Earp and Hawaii Five-0 to fall asleep too. Fortunately he figured it out, just like I always do when I choose Wynonna Earp.
For those hoping this cibernetico would be one of those ultra memorable, ultra exciting ones that CMLL occasionally delivers, they were likely left more disappointed than the first time they put The Killers’ Sam’s Town in the CD player. There wasn’t anything wrong with the match per say, but with only eight people involved and the eliminations coming quick, there wasn’t enough time for anything really spectacular, save for the odd dive here and there. That did change when it came down to Averno and Templario, which makes sense because, you know, they both rule. From that point forward, we got what felt like a big time CMLL match with the two trading bombs, showing off impeccable timing, and just flat out delivering, other than that one minor hiccup from Averno before the finish. Truthfully, there’s a part of me that really wanted to see Averno win; he is still so great, and frankly deserving of a big time match with a high profile US star after years of being one of the workhorses in both CMLL and AAA. In the end though, you can’t complain about Templario getting the shot when he’s having an outstanding year, including proving himself against international stars like Michael Oku just a month ago. Him vs. MJF will be a hell of a time, and I look forward to seeing who Templario faces at Wembley Stadium once he topples the so-called “Salt of the Earth.” Am I getting ahead of myself? Sure. Do I care? Not really! ***½ (**¾ for the first half, **** for Averno-Templario’s extended sequence).
And so, we are at the end. I will now vanish into a puff of smoke that look a lot like my TV airing Timeless. Need to have something to do before I fall asleep to Wynonna Earp after all. Till we meet again (some sunny day)!
