Man did I pick the right day to wear my Rabbit Tribe t-shirt sports fans! Lucha Underground was all about the Rabbit’s when the show closed, in a scene that would’ve been the most talked about thing on the episode if not for the fact that the rest of the show made up the best effort LU has put forth this season. With only the end tag taking things away from the ring, LU decided to focus on the matches tonight. It all resulted in one highly entertaining sixteen second squash, a good showcase for Ivelisse, an awesome triple threat match and a main event that lived up to the hype. Oh, and there were two deaths! Because what’s a Lucha Underground episode without people shuffling off this mortal coil? LU without question had found their footing prior to tonight but this was on yet another level, the exquisite combo of great wrestling, better storytelling and beautiful weirdness only they can do. And with that, let’s go even deeper into it!
Sacrifice to the Gods
Matanza wipes Cortez Castro off the face of the Earth
Ladies and gentlemen this is a sad day, for there are now no more members of The Crew alive in the LU universe. Big Ryck is a skull on Mil Muertes’ long forgotten throne, Bael is residue on the floor of Matanza’s old cell, Mr. Cisco has a miniature red bull sticking out of his head and now Cortez Castro…I have no idea where he is. I just know he’s dead and it took longer for Antonio Cueto to oust him as a cop than the match with Matanza did. The monster was in, hit the Wrath of the Gods, got the pin and then transported Castro to whatever domain he now inhabits. Fare thee well Castro; say hi to Fenix, Crane, Cisco, Bael and Ryck for us all. Also, thank goodness this wasn’t too long. MORE TIME FOR THE OTHER STUFF!
Match for an Aztec Medallion
Ivelisse defeated Joey Ryan
There’s an alternate universe out there where Ivelisse never gets hurt in season two and maybe, just maybe gets the push Sexy Star got when she won the Lucha Underground Championship at Aztec Warfare. This match made me wish we lived in that universe. Maybe I can get Aerostar to take me there? Aerostar, read this and take me to that alternate universe with your time traveling powers!
While we wait for that to happen let’s talk about the match. It was good! Fans of lots of high flying will probably be left wanting but as that’s not the strength of either Famous Dick Wrestler Joey Ryan or Ivelisse I’m rather happy they went the way they did. Especially since this needed to be (and was) about re-establishing Ivelisse as an all around bad ass. There was nothing wrong with Joey Ryan in this match but you know what you’re getting from Hangman Page’s worst nightmare; a lot of sleaziness, a lot of basing, some cheap heel tactics, a lollipop stuck in his tights. That sort of thing is fun but it needs something to balance it out strongly to make things good. Ivelisse balanced things out; she looked as good as she’s ever looked dishing out lucha moves, cool kicks and unique offense like that rolling snap mare into a kick. It was the sort of performance that, while not appearing in a Match of the Season list, reminds you why Ivelisse is likely the best female performer LU has. I loved her work here and I’m glad LU awarded her with an Aztec Medallion for it should only lead to her being in even better situations going forward. Like say a multi-person match for the Gift of the Gods Championship that features…well, we’ll get to that.
Triple Threat Match for Two Aztec Medallions
The Mack defeated Killshot and Son of Havoc
Allow me to explain sports fans. Everyone (including the Trios Champions here) thought this match would be for one Aztec Medallion…until Papa El Jefe came out and revealed it would be for two, with the guy who got pinned being the only one not to get a medallion. You gotta love these Cueto’s; always trying to create dissension in the ranks. Good thing they also love to create great matches while doing so because this match was AWESOME! That’s not too surprising given who was in it (Killshot, Mack and Havoc are all awesome) but it was somehow even better than I could’ve anticipated. The pace was killer, everyone looked super smooth, Killshot’s new super aggressive/dickish attitude contrasted perfectly with Big Willie and Havoc’s offense and the added layer of one of these guys leaving empty handed (and again, these three are collectively LU’s trios champions) raised the stakes. If you didn’t believe it during the match you certainly did at the end, when Mack had a choice between pinning Killshot and Havoc and ultimately decided to pin Killshot, a shocking move given their long history and a not so shocking move considering how Killshot acted during this match and Aztec Warfare. The match would’ve been something to behold without this conclusion thanks to the action but man I thought this really put a giant bow on the whole thing. It’s exactly the kind of brilliant storytelling we’ve come to expect from LU and it’s quite obviously just the start as Killshot’s reaction in the post match indicated (though I’m not sure why he’s surprised. You dicked Big Willie over first Killshot; are you really going to be that offended when he returns the favor?). But that’s the future; for now let’s just bask in the fact that the Gift of the Gods field (as of this match) featured El Dragon Azteca Jr., Ivelisse, Havoc, Big Willie and King Cuerno! That’s a loaded field as is and…well we’ll get to it right now!
Match for an Aztec Medallion
Mil Muertes defeated Cage
Going into this show I thought there was no way any match could top this one. By the time we got to it I thought there was no way it could top Havoc vs. Killshot vs. Mack; it was that good. This just goes to show you that we need to heed the words of Lee Corso more often.
My Grodd this match! I thought LU needed to give these guys at least ten minutes for it to be something spectacular. Instead they gave them seven and they STILL tore the house down. I can’t imagine what would’ve happened if they actually gave them the time we all wanted. It was nonstop action from the word go and exactly what you’d hope from Cage and Mil; a mixture of violent brawling, unreal athleticism from guys as big as them, referees getting destroyed (Marty Elias, Justin Borden and especially Rick Knox all got eviscerated during this bout), Mil Muertes doing Rainmakers and super cool spots like Cage lifting Mil from the apron and into the ring for that second rope superplex. The only thing better was when Striker pointed out that Mil Muertes couldn’t do athletic stuff like Cage could, right before Mil delivered an awesome headscissors. Brilliance! Somehow all of that was topped by the ending, which saw Cage venture into the crowd to do something to Mil, only for a fan behind him to take off their mask/hoodie to reveal they were Pentagon Dark!
This was Luka Modric in the midfield/the closing shot from Joe Wright’s Pride and Prejudice good I tell you. Not only was it cooler than a perfectly chilled Pepsi but it a) was the perfect follow up to what Cage did to Pentagon two weeks ago and b) set up their match while also leading to the logical route of Mil Muertes winning the medallion so he could join Big Willie, Ivelisse, Havoc, Cuerno and Azteca in what’s shaping up to be a dynamite Gift of the Gods title match. Another brilliant piece of LU storytelling! And don’t sleep on whatever was going on with Catrina and Mil after when Catrina refused to do the lick of death (Catrina also came out in the red dress to continue her “I’m really alive!” phase); that will surely be another thing to keep an eye on going forward. Just another example of how LU checked off all the boxes with this match. Brilliant stuff. Now hopefully LU will go back to it at some point and give these two more time because…hot damn! This was just seven minutes; the stuff they could do with more time fills me to the brim with a feeling of goodness.
Remember What the Dormouse Said
Grodd bless you Lucha Underground end tag and all the joy you bring. This was the only backstage scene of the night and LU made the most of it with one of the most offbeat, downright bizarre things they’ve ever done. It began with Paul London complaining about furniture in an Alice in Wonderland style apartment and Saltador stroking Mala Suerte’s mohawk while speaking with a British accent (?!). Then it just got weirder! Mascarita Sagrada appeared to lead them from their psychedelic quarters all the way to the literal underground, where the White Rabbit (played by the always terrifying Kevin Kross) and some other dude in a tumbleweed were waiting. Kross said a few things that shook me to my very core, London declared he was willing to do anything to appease the White Rabbit and Kross decided London should prove it…by killing Sagrada. London questioned it, Kross then shook him to his very core (“TICK TOCK MR. LONDON!”) and, armed with Kross’ staff that he magically transported to London (oops; did I forget to mention that?!) London then bashed Sagrada’s head in with it as blood squirted all over him. The only thing stranger was how calm Sagrada was about the whole thing. It was as if he knew his time was up and decided it was best to go out like this.
Now what does all this mean? No freakin clue! I guess it suggests that the Rabbit Tribe may be going in a more serious direction (albeit not entirely), which I don’t mind because Kross is an absolute terror and Paul London doing serious wrestling is just as much fun as him being the Rabbit (or Dolphin) master. I mean maybe that’s not it but it’s hard to hear Kross tell London “now let’s see just how far you’re willing to go” at the end this scene and think that isn’t the direction. And who the hell is the other little dude that laughed a lot? Is he Kross’ minion? Lackey? The actual dude in charge? I NEED TO KNOW THESE THINGS! Luckily I think we’ll be finding them out sooner than later; whether or not you’ll like the answers is up to how you’ve felt about the Rabbit Tribe to this point. I can understand this being off putting to some (especially with the weird tone) but as someone who loves the group enough to have their official t-shirt, this was just the type of ending I wanted to see. Now it’s just time to sit back, stay off the acid and wait for Kross to get to the Temple so we can see him vs. Matanza, Mil Muertes and Cage in one on one competition. Oh my goodness I’m getting chills just thinking about it.
What an episode sports fans! But now it’s over and so is this review, which means I’m off to chill. I shall return tomorrow with not one, but two previews as AAA and CMLL will be running neck and neck this weekend and require my attention. Fun stuff. Till tomorrow, let’s all accept we are like Anya right now.
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