You hear that sports fans? That is the sound of wedding bells coming from the New Lucha Underground Temple. That’s because tomorrow Johnny Mundo and Taya will try to do what only Kane, Lita, the “Macho Man” Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth have been able to do; actually go through with a pro wrestling wedding. And of course danger lurks in the shadows because it wouldn’t be a wrestling wedding if it didn’t! While that’s the big draw of tomorrow’s LU there is still plenty going on with two singles matches, including one that has some feud ending promise. So let’s get started with this preview shall we? I have very little time between this and video game sessions to run out and get Johnny and Taya a gift! I’m thinking Spaceballs the Directors Cut.
No Mas Match
Jack Evans vs. XO Lishus
What to Expect: This is the first “No Mas” match Lucha Underground has had since season two, when Sexy Star and Mariposa had, at the time, one of the defining matches in LU lore. Since then Sexy Star has left the show, become more toxic than the Pokemon attack and has thus neutered the significance of that match tenfold. This is why I don’t feel bad that the mysterious tarantula women did whatever she did to Sexy to make sure she never returned.
But enough about the first No Mas match; what about this one? The build to is has been simple; XO Lishus answered the Jack Evans “Put Up or Shut Up” challenge weeks ago and defeated him in what I thought to be a really fun match. Humiliated, Jack has since dedicated his life to getting revenge on XO (while simultaneously avoiding conflict with snakes) by watching his enemy’s every move and learning his secrets. That worked enough for Jack to get the pin over XO Lishus in a tag match with Joey Ryan and Ivelisse and now Jack will try to put XO away once and for all. It’s no getting kidnapped and tortured between seasons but it will suffice, and in theory a No Mas match between these two should be better than the first one, at least from a workrate standpoint. Not only does Jack Evans remain really good but XO Lishus has proven to be a fun performer who appears to have more up his sleeve. There should be a few big spots, maybe some more grueling exchanges (it is a “No Mas” match after all) and overall I think this match should be pretty damn good. Just don’t expect it to be the same as the original match, unless Jack has actually kidnapped XO Lishus and I haven’t heard about it.
Winner: LU is clearly trying to make XO Lishus into someone and it’s not like Jack losing this match will hurt him; if anything him yelling “NO MAS!” and having a microphone to work with all match will just make him more of a cult hero! Thus XO Lishus will take this one.
Drago vs. Jake Strong
What to Expect: I don’t know. I can tell you what I would like to see and that is something definitively interesting from Jake Strong. I don’t know if I’d go as far as some to say “The Savage” doesn’t belong in the Temple; he is really over with the crowd after all. But I do agree with the notion that Strong hasn’t really done a whole lot to this point. That’s fine when you’re first getting there and involved in good trios matches and squash bouts your first few shows; it’s another when it’s been weeks and you’re still doing that. Strong needs to have a big performance at some point and unfortunately I’m not sure if this is the match for it. We saw how weird a fit Aerostar and Strong were last week; in theory Drago and Strong won’t be much better. Throw in how LU will be doing something with the Aerostar/Drago storyline they’re building and I’m just not seeing a great match here. I hope I’m wrong because it would be nice to see Strong doing something noteworthy.
Winner: This feels like it should be a Strong victory…but if there is going to be something more between Strong and Aerostar/Drago then a surprise victory for Kobra Moon’s former prisoner makes sense. I say Drago pulls out the surprise victory with his Dragon’s Tail roll up and then makes like a tree with Aerostar and leaves before Strong snaps both their ankles.
The Wedding of Taya and Johnny Mundo
What to Expect: Many a thing has happened in Lucha Underground sports fans. People have infiltrated underground snake lairs, gone back in time, turned into dragons, died, been resurrected, pretty much killed themselves in the Hell of War, fake their death and disguised themselves as their father in the greatest long game in history (fingers crossed); the list goes on and on. What we haven’t had in either Temple yet however is a wedding. That can be crossed off tomorrow night after Johnny and Taya tie the knot after two hysterical segments where Johnny proposed (Randy Savage style) and Johnny and Taya had their pre-wedding party complete with gifts, surprise title shots and Ricky Mundo going full Patrick Bateman on Worldwide Underground’s agent your forgot existed.
That’s the wrinkle here sports fans. There always is one with wrestling weddings, which generally go as well as me trying to beat the Water Temple in one go. Off the top of my head there have only been two wrestling weddings in history that have ended with the intended couple actually actually getting married, and even those weddings had hijinx galore getting there. This one will be no different, especially if Ricky Mundo brings the doll and decides to do what he did to the agent last week and Angelico (sobs) some undisclosed time ago. And yet, even with Ricky lurking, I can’t help but feel this may work out in some regard. After all, Johnny Mundo does have a Lucha Underground Championship match with Pentagon Dark next week; that match very well can’t happen if Johnny is dead (and come on, LU ain’t killing off the Wednesday Night Delight!). Honestly the more I type, the more it’s becoming apparent that this whole section is one long ass way of me doing my best Lex Luger.
And that’s the key sports fans; I have no idea what will happen. I just know that the tone of this will be silly, likely feature a ton of Macho Man/Miss Elizabeth references, will hopefully have a battered and beaten Jack Evans as the minister, a few cameos and yes, Ricky Mundo trying to kill everyone. Give us all that LU and this will be a good time. At least for most of us.
Winners: Johnny Mundo and Taya will emerge victorious and married. But, in a Savage/Elizabeth like twist, the after party will go poorly as Ricky Mundo finally makes his move. What that move is? I don’t know, but he’ll make it and it will mean dastardly consequences for the Worldwide Underground.
There you have it sports fans. I’m off to a day of Ocarina of Time and potential breaking news stories before CMLL returns tonight with the Tuesday show. Titán vs. Mephisto! Don’t miss it. TILL THEN!
Please change disks to continue…