It’s Tuesday which means only one day left till a new Lucha Underground episode. A Lucha Underground episode on the Fourth of July no less! Only way it would’ve been better is if it had fallen on Canada Day. Alas it doesn’t matter; LU is great on any day (unless its certain season premieres. Too soon?) and this episode looks to be a lot of fun. Aztec Medallions will be on the line. Taya and Johnny Mundo will battle reptiles while Jack Evans asks why it had to be snakes. Matanza might kill a man. Scratch that; he will kill a man. And according to luchablog’s blurb from last week there might be some interaction between Melissa Santos and Catrina as Melissa searches for a way to bring her beloved Fenix back from the dead. Here’s a hint Melissa; just watch CMLL from this past Friday! If only someone cared enough about Jeremiah Crane to try and bring him back. But that’s for another time, for I need to eat lunch and get this preview out! Let’s get cracking.
Match for an Aztec Medallion
King Cuerno vs. Luchador Sorpresa
What to Expect: The weekly tradition of LU having a “Luchador Sorpresa” that will be revealed after this preview is up continues! If I had to guess I’d say it’ll be Big Bad Steve; he has been pushed a bit more on social media after all so it only makes sense. If it is Steve, excellent. No wait; let’s go full Bill and Ted and say most excellent. There are few out there who can base as well as that Big Bad man can and, while King Cuerno isn’t as crazy as some of his contemporaries, he’s a pretty damn good worker overall and should be able to shine even more with the mechanic catching him. So if this is indeed the match for that precious Aztec Medallion then I for one am excited. And if it isn’t? I’m probably still pretty excited. Deer Antlers is the man yo!
Winner: Unless someone is appearing with the power glove (which, breaking news, still so very, very bad!) to screw Deer Antlers over, King Cuerno has got this. He wins with a Thrill of the Hunt to join fellow conspirator in time El Dragon Azteca Jr. as a medallion holder.
Matanza vs. Mr. Pectacular
What to Expect: I know this match exists because LU released a photo of Matanza suplexing Mr. Pectacular while Rick Knox looked on in horror. And that’s Rick Knox; he’s seen (and done) everything! Luckily LU spared us from seeing the photo from when the match is over when Knox looked like this.
If you don’t think that’s where we’re going with this match then you missed the end of last week’s episode. Mr. Pectacular is dead. Dead, dead, dead! Kurt Cobain, the US National Team’s World Cup chances and John Carter’s sequel prospects will have more life than the former Big Brother star when this is all over. That’s what happens when you’re a monster named Matanza who has had you’re ultimate power unleashed by your bloodthirsty father in the last episode. The only questions are a) will Mr. Pectacular get any offense in before he succumbs and b) how long will it take Matanza to finish him off. The answer to first question is yes; he’ll get two punches in. The answer to the second question…you’re gonna have to wait for the next section.
Winner: What a long wait! Yeah; it’ll last a minute and a half. Matanza will win in a minute and a half and then drag Mr. Pectacular’s lifeless corpse back to his humble abode, wherever that is. It was nice knowing you Pec! Can I call him Pec? What does it matter, HE’S ALREADY DEAD! Say hi to Fenix and Crane in the afterlife dude.
Johnny Mundo & Taya vs. Daga & Kobra Moon
What to Expect: Slamtown vs. Snake Town. The Palace of Reptiles vs. The Palace of Wisdom. Scales and Venom vs. The Wednesday Night Delights! It’s going down (basement) tomorrow, complete with cameos from a dinosaur and Jack Evans quoting Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Don’t let this match looking normal fool you sports fans; this has the potential to be GREAT. There’s no need to worry about Johnny Mundo; he remains as delightful as ever in and out of the ring, and may be more so now that he’s revealed his love for Spaceballs. But everyone else is on the level too. You may not have seen a whole lot of Daga recently thanks to his departure from AAA/The Crash being unable to snag a TV deal but he remains excellent. In fact he was a massive bright spot just a few weeks ago in Aztec Warfare IV, an event that I remind you is being treated like the “gas leak” season of Community. And I don’t know if I have enough time in the day to rave about Taya and Kobra. Taya was good in season three (her last match for LU was getting a good match out of Sexy Star of all people) and has only gotten better in the medium. And my goodness the last time I saw Kobra Moon she was the best performer in a match featuring Lacey Lane, Black Danger (aka one of the dudes from that famous AAA Tijuana opener) and famous dick wrestler Joey Ryan. Those are three excellent workers there and Kobra was better than all of them. She’s taken tremendous leaps since we first saw her at the beginning of LU’s second season and this will be a huge opportunity against both Taya and Mundo to show what she can do. I’m excited for it! This should be a super fun match, with my only concern being LU not going all out with an ending due to this being the obvious first part of this story. We still have the battle underground from the season four trailer to get to after all!
Winners: I would be absolutely floored if Jack Evans, PJ Black, Ricky Mundo and his doll, Drago and the Luchasaurus aren’t involved by the time this is over. Therefore I’ll go with this being the LU match that ends in the rare double DQ, with both sides brawling to close everything out. Hope Kobra has secretly made a deal with Ricky and the doll because those numbers…they could be better for her side!
That’s game sports fans. I’ll see you late, LATE tonight (possibly tomorrow) for a review of the CMLL Tuesday show and you know I’ll be back tomorrow night for a review of this one. Till next time!
Please change disks to continue…