You may have noticed in my earlier column, but today has been a rough day for yours truly. As such, I was hoping tonight’s CMLL show would get things back on track, or at least allow me to crack a joke or two. In the end they were successful on that front and, in some ways, successful on the quality front too. Sure I’ll probably have forgotten this show by the time I wake up tomorrow, but in the years to come I’ll at least remember that the women’s match was good, the main event set up an even better match for the show next week and, most importantly, that Rey Rey Buc vs. Ephesto was better than that AAA tag match on Saturday. Then again, every Uwe Boll movie ever made was better than that tag match; I’m pretty sure the only things worse than that are our President and this countries gun control laws. But enough politics; we’ve had enough of that for one day. Let’s instead talk lucha, while the theme song of iZombie plays.

 

Acero & Aéreo defeated Pequeño Olimpico & Pequeño Violencia two falls to none

 

A CMLL opener unlike any other…and I say that because it ended with a kick to the nuts in the second fall. I’ve seen truly terrible CMLL openers and I’ve seen the rare really good CMLL opener; I’ve never seen one that only lasted two falls and ended with a shot to the gonads. This is what happens when you have to keep up with the 3rd and 8th best weekly shows of 2017! Even stranger was that I didn’t hate this match prior to this. Granted I was half editing some guys in TEW at the time, but overall I found the effort to be pretty good from everyone; even Violencia tried, and that hasn’t happened since Frank Miller’s Daredevil run. I don’t know if it translated to good outside of Aéreo’s nice arm drag to the floor on Olímpico, but this was much more watchable then I expected. Even still, can we get someone else in for Violencia going forward? Like, what’s Bam Bam doing? I know he was before my time and all but he seems like he was really good. Can we bring him back? Where the hell even is he? Someone send a search party!

 

 

Cancerbero, Raziel, Universo 2000 Jr. defeated Oro Jr., Sensei, Star Jr. two falls to one

 

Another better than expected match that probably could’ve been even better. Why wasn’t it? If you ask me it was due to long stretches of non action after the first fall. I thought that came out of the gates really hot, with Star Jr. and Universo having some great sequences where Star nailed his tornillo and then hit an even more impressive hurricanrana off the barricade. After that though it just seemed like the match stalled, with Raziel and Cancerbero doing a little too much of their own thing while no one else got to strut their stuff. In other words, the Los Cancerberos special! It was still alright at the end and I thought this was one of the better Universo 2000 Jr. performances of recent memory, at least until he dropped Star Jr. on his head at the finish. In the end though there was just too much Los Cancerberos, not enough Oro Jr. or Star Jr. (especially the latter) and…well at least Sensei was contained. Seriously CMLL; if you want to use a version of Rey Samuray so bad, why not just use the actual Rey Samuray? At least he’d be trying Brillo 450’s!

 

Amapola, Dalys, Zeuxis defeated Kaho Kobayashi, Marcela, Princesa Sugehit two falls to one

 

In a development that stunned no one, this match was good! Who could’ve guessed with the teams CMLL put together? I think they just missed making it great with a slow spot or two at the beginning of the second and third falls, but other than that I really liked the pace these six cut. On top of that we got some honest to Grodd cool sequences other than Zeuxis kneeing people in the case (and of course those spots were great too). Princesa Sugehit got in a nice Tornado DDT off the barricade on the floor in fall one and Kaho Kobayashi, once again a Surge Soda come to life, was pulling off hurricanrana’s off the apron onto Zeuxis. That’s not something you see in a luchadoras match every day now! Throw in Marcela putting in some solid work and Dalys basing well for Sugehit and Kobayashi and this further hammered home that CMLL made a mistake not making this match the luchadoras match for H2L. Really strong stuff and, maybe it’s just me, this should be the match that makes CMLL go “you know, a Zeuxis-Kobayashi Lightning Match sounds like a killer idea.” BOOK IT PACO!

 

Lightning Match

Rey Bucanero defeated Ephesto

 

The positives of this match; it wasn’t La Parka/Pagano vs. Dave the Clown/Hijo del Dr. Wagner Jr. and both Bucanero and Ephesto tried harder than all four of those guys did. That’s it! Otherwise this match was somewhere between the drizzling shits and trying to pass a kidney stone. Holy shit this sucked. Both Ephesto and Rey Rey Buc went out of their way to try and make this match special, from Superplex attempts to top rope arm drags to near falls to Ephesto’s suicide dive. It didn’t matter; these guys are so old and so not the performers they used to be that it all looked second rate; the Ultimate Deletion to everyone else’s Final Deletion if you will. It was bad enough that they couldn’t do anything even as they were trying…and yet it got worse because CMLL gave these guys nearly nine minutes!

 

Image result for what the hell gif

 

Like…did I miss the memo where lucha promotions had to do long matches with bad luchadors this week? Sure this wasn’t anywhere close to the 29:54 comedy that was the aforementioned AAA tag match but come on; any promoter worth his salt isn’t giving Rey Rey Buc and Ephesto 4 minutes, let alone 9. It takes a special kind of stupid to do that and, apparently, the guy who booked this match is on that level. Credit to Bucanero and Ephesto for trying, but the best thing I can say about it is that it wasn’t the worst match I’d seen in the past four days. And that’s not that hard a bar to clear considering what’s numero uno.

 

Guerrero Maya Jr., Rey Cometa, Stuka Jr. defeated Johnny Idol, Kawato San, Okumura two falls to one

 

Yet another match on this show that I never quite warmed to despite liking several things about it. The work overall was pretty good, with all three technicos working very smoothly while the rudos did a good job playing off them. Overall though I just felt like this was missing some extra oomph. There were dives yes, but I’ve seen fifteen million double suicide dive spots in my life and this was no different; Maya or Cometa couldn’t have pulled off a bigger dive to put this over the top? Perhaps more disappointing was that Kawato didn’t break out as much as I expected. I thought with Okumura there he’d come across more comfortable, but it was pretty much more of the same; he did well in the singles sequences and floated between decent and kinda/sorta lost in the double team spots. Guess we’ll have to wait to see him pull off that big time performance. I feel like a broken record saying this, but this was by no means a bad match; it just wasn’t quite good either. A solid, unspectacular, unmemorable CMLL Tuesday semi-main. So basically every CMLL Tuesday semi-main event besides Titán vs. Mephisto.

 

Mistico, Soberano Jr., Volador Jr. defeated Cavernario, Felino, Mr. Niebla two falls to one

 

In a way this match went exactly as expected; Soberano and Cavernario feuded for all three falls before Cavernario unmasked Soberano in front of Tirantes, leading to a DQ. Fortunately for us this match was much more than that. Alright, not much more but it was substantially better than I thought thanks to both Soberano and Cavernario working very hard to get their feud, and this match, over. Both were working on full speed, with Cav delivering some vicious offense in fall one before Soberano turned the tide by breaking out some dives in fall two. They mixed and matched in fall three to keep this up and ultimately it all served to be a very nice preview of what should be an excellent match next week. You could argue they took up too much time for Mistico, Volador, Felino and Niebla to do anything but I don’t entirely mind that. Plus Mistico still got to hit his usual moves, the brief Volador-Niebla sequences were really good and Felino’s new serious attitude was welcome. Truthfully he was the only one who got shortchanged; I would’ve loved to see more serious Felino in this match for him to show off his underrated skill set. Regardless, this match did the job it needed to do. It was entertaining enough to not just be about building up to next week and it did a hell of a job getting us (or at least me) excited to see Soberano and Cavernario go one on one. You’re not gonna want to miss that one sports fans! I dare say it might be better than their Puebla match and holy shit that Puebla Match was gold.

 

Ball game sports fans. I’ll see you tomorrow for a review of AAA’s next show on Twitch. Grodd help us all. Till then, THIS!

 

 

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