I would do a longer intro for this CMLL Tuesday preview sports fans, but my brother is currently sitting next to me and cracking jokes about Final Fantasy X so it’s kind of hard to concentrate. Well that and this is just your regular Tuesday show; a few promising matches here, a few shitty looking matches there and a main event that probably shouldn’t be happening. TUESDAY! Get hyped I guess. And with that the preview will now begin.

 

LET-THERE-BE-MORE-LUCHA

 

Angelito & Fantasy vs. Mercurio & Pequeño Nitro

 

What to Expect: The sun will rise, the sun will set, Mercurio and Nitro won’t give a single solitary shit, Fantasy will do a second rope Spanish Fly and I will continue to be unclear on whether Angelito is actually really good or just seems it because he’s surrounded the equivalent of Eddie Murphy’s career since Beverly Hills Cop III.

 

Winners: When in doubt go with the rudos. They take it in three falls.

 

Bengala, Leono, Príncipe Diamante vs. Hijo del Signo, Metálico, Sangre Azteca

 

What to Expect: My face when I realized Príncipe Diamante and Sangre Azteca were the two best luchadores in this match.

 

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And now my face when I closed my eyes really tight and opened them again, just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming and that there actually existed a match where Príncipe Diamante and Sangre Azteca were the two best luchadores.

 

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In case you haven’t gotten the point yet, this match is going to blow. It will make Howard the Duck look like the “Jessie’s Girl” scene from Boogie Nights. And Grodd help me I’m going to watch every second of it. You know CMLL Tuesday, if you’re not careful you may lose me with shit like this. Just ask Arena Puebla!

 

Winners: The Grumpy Old Luchadores win in three falls after Diamante and Leono are pinned. Well at least I get to see Leono get pinned I suppose.

 

Astral, Eléctrico, Star Jr. vs. Disturbio, Espanto Jr., Virus

 

What to Expect: Imagine the look on Eléctrico, Astral and Espanto Jr.’s faces when they saw they were in the third match. Did they even know there was a slot beyond the second match?! That’s a fair question if you ask me. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if this is better than most expect actually. Only Espanto Jr. is really deadweight and both Star Jr. and Virus are fairly good and consistent. It won’t be a good match but I’ll probably enjoy it for the fourteen minutes or so it lasts.

 

Winners: I like the technicos here. Astral, Eléctrico and Star Jr. win in three falls.

 

Esfinge, Titán, Tritón vs. Kawato San, Okumura, Templario

 

What to Expect: I’m checking with the judges…and Anakin Skywalker can now make his ruling.

 

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Now yes, there are some flaws in this match. Okumura can only give you so much. Esfinge is depressingly still Esfinge. And we all know how everyone feels about Kawato, because Grodd forbid a 22 year old who was really good in Japan have struggles learning a new style. The good news is Kawato seems to finally be picking things up and Titán, Tritón and Templario are all collectively all stars. It’ll come down to how much effort everyone wants to put in and how good the rudos do at catching the technicos, but this should be a fun match with a chance of being really strong.

 

Winners: Again I’m feeling the technicos. I must be in a good mood or something! Esfinge, Titán and Tritón win after Esfinge hits a dive on Okumura while Titán and Tritón come off the top with splashes onto Kawato and Templario.

 

Dragón Lee, Soberano Jr., Stuka Jr. vs. Ephesto, Mephisto, Shocker

 

What to Expect: To be the doofus who sat there after booking a great team of Dragón Lee, Soberano and Stuka and decided “you know what this match needs? EPHESTO AND SHOCKER BABY!” Hey, when I have a great technico team that can provide a great match, I totally feel the need to make two of their opponents dudes that can barely move these days. This is why we can’t have nice things! I’m sure the technicos (especially Lee and Soberano) will find a way to make this interesting but it’s not going any farther than that. What a shame, especially since we could’ve had Euforia and Gran Guerrero in Ephesto and Shocker’s place. Imagine the basing. IMAGINE THE DOUBLE TEAMS!

 

Winners: Not only should these rudos not be in this match but you just know CMLL is going to book them to win. As Alicia Keys and Usher would say, it’s the only way they know how to rock. Ephesto, Mephisto and Shocker win in three falls.

 

Mexican National Light Heavyweight Championship

Atlantis (c) vs. Rey Bucanero

 

What to Expect: I won’t lie; I’m interested in this match. Actually I’m very interested in this match…and it’s very much in spite of the fact that I think this match is a) a really bad idea, b) a potential disaster and c) did I mention a really bad idea? Not only is this very much not a match fitting of what CMLL wants the Tuesday show to represent (young luchadores getting a shot) but it’s between a guy who’s best days slipped away years ago (Rey Rey Buc) and a guy who depressingly looks to be shot after an injury last year (Atlantis). Certainly it would’ve been a good idea ten years ago. But was so was a Pirates of the Caribbean sequel; you don’t see anyone clamoring for that shit now do you?

 

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But yes, I’m still interested in this for two reasons. First, I still haven’t given up hope that at least a slightly lesser version of what Atlantis was before his injury may come back. He did a few things last week I didn’t expect from him and looked good during his brief ROH stay, so maybe we’ll see him put something together. I doubt it but it’s Atlantis; I can’t give up on him! Second, if CMLL believes (like many others do) that Atlantis has lost it then it’ll be interesting to see if they take his long held but hardly defended Light Heavyweight Title away. Those two things will keep me watching this match. Sadly I expect little else of note to come from here, unless Atlantis has actually recovered and Rey Rey Buc turns into the guy who wrestled Hechicero two years ago.

 

Winner: I’ll play it safe; Atlantis will forever be a huge star for CMLL regardless of his health and I expect he’ll hold onto the title here. Look for it to go three falls and Atlantis to win with La Atlantida. Provided he can get him up for it of course.

 

Game over sports fans. I’ll catch you tonight with results from Arena Puebla. Till then, I REGRET NOTHING!

 

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