The week has began anew sports fans, which unfortunately means I a) am still a few days away from a new Lucha Underground episode, b) several days away from the next CMLL Super Viernes show and c) am stuck previewing a Tuesday. It’s even worse than usual now because LU has regained its footing and the Friday show is the greatest thing since Immortan Joe promised to personally carry Nux to Valhalla. HE WILL RIDE ETERNAL, SHINY AND CHROME! Sorry, got lost in the movie for a second. Anyway, it’s time to preview the Tuesday show, which looks alright. Not good, not bad, just alright, which is why I speed previewed this thing. You’ll see what I mean.

 

LET-THERE-BE-MORE-LUCHA

 

Stukita & Último Dragóncito vs. Pequeño Nitro & Pequeño Olímpico

 

What to Expect: This is…this is…THIS IS…

 

Image result for this is boring delete gif

 

Enough said.

 

Winners: When in doubt go with the rudos. They take it in three falls.

 

Astral, Eléctrico, Principe Diamante vs. Akuma, Hijo del Signo, Metálico

 

What to Expect: It’s three good technicos, Akuma and two guys who look like they belong on the current Los Angeles Lakers roster. My advice would be to run as far away as you can from this one. That goes for you guys too, Astral, Eléctrico and Príncipe Diamante. Take the night off, give the spots to Sangre Imperial and Retro and let this whole thing just crater into oblivion.

 

Winners: The rudos, all day every day. They take it in three falls.

 

Drone, Fuego, Pegasso vs. Misterioso Jr., Sagrado, Sangre Azteca

 

What to Expect: You know…I could see a scenario where this match could actually be something. Of course I could see over 9,000 scenarios where this match turns into the final 30 minutes of Sunshine, and that kind outnumbers the one good scenario no? That said all the technicos are solid, Misterioso and Sagrado aren’t bad and Sangre Azteca was good once. Sure it was ten years ago but who’s counting?! There is at least hope here, even if the match will likely turn into fifteen minutes of mediocre lucha with one uninspired triple dive sequence.

 

Winners: The technicos get on the board in this match with a three fall victory.

 

Lightning Match

Audaz vs. Universo 2000 Jr.

 

What to Expect: People seemed to be down on this match and I’m not sure why. It’s the perfect contrast. Universo 2000 Jr. is a big dude built for doing old school lucha and basing. Audaz is a tiny dude built for doing shit like this.

 

Image result for Audaz CMLL gif

 

And this.

 

Image result for Audaz CMLL gif

 

Seems like a decent pairing to me. I guess you could make the argument it’s not because Universo Jr. isn’t quite on the level of his more accomplished cousins, but then again who is? The dude has still been improving at a decent rate and he’s not going to be asked to carry this bad boy. That responsibility goes to Audaz and HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?! I’m pretty sure he could make me look good. As long as CMLL does go the direction they should I expect this match will be more fun then you expect, with Audaz delivering some super cool moves along the way.

 

Winner: Universo has the family ties but Audaz has the “WOW” factor and is moving up the ranks quicker. He won’t be losing here, taking a victory at the eight minute mark following a rolling armbar.

 

Black Panther, Blue Panther Jr., Kráneo vs. Ephesto, Luciferno, Mephisto

 

What to Expect: If Grodd does exist, CMLL uses this match to give Black Panther a break and set up an all too enticing CMLL World Welterweight Championship match between him and Mephisto. Alas even if they do go that route, this match still has Ephesto being Ephesto and Kráneo sticking out like a sore thumb. And unlike “sticks out like a sore thumb” Hall of Famer Marcus Brody Kráneo doesn’t speak a dozen languages, know every local costume and will not blend in, disappear, never to be seen again with the Holy Grail. The point is, don’t expect much from this other than the small hope that Black Panther-Mephisto could happen.

 

Winners: Ephesto, Luciferno and Mephisto win cleanly in three falls without any set up because Grodd does not in fact exist and that cage was in fact not thirty feet tall. All apologies Teddy. Love the new shirt you, Harry and Pillman Jr. have created.

 

Ángel de Oro, Diamante Azul, Niebla Roja vs. Cuatrero, Forastero, Sansón

 

What to Expect: Oh hey; Diamante Azul is back! Did you miss him?

 

Image result for eh gif

 

I must confess I didn’t either, especially since he’s kind of taking the spot of Flyer one week after CMLL looked to be putting together an enticing Flyer-Forastero matchup. Now who knows? The good news is Diamante Azul isn’t bad (he’s just not on the level of some others I suppose), Oro/Roja interactions with the Dinamitas has never been boring and this should be a little bit better than the usual Tuesday main event. That said it’ll probably still be below what it could be on a Friday show. Dammit now I’m wishing it was the Friday show again. Or Lucha Underground. Man, what a lethal duo those two shows are these days.

 

Winners: Flyer vs. Forastero probably picks up next week so look for this to be just a regular match with a regular result, with the technicos picking up a quick three fall win to send the fans home happy.

 

And we’re outta here sports fans. See you tomorrow for the LU preview and this review, though it will be delayed by me going to a baseball game. Till next time!

 

 

Please change disks to continue…