A new week has dawned sports fans and that means it’s time to completely ignore CMLL Puebla (until tonight that is) and go straight into talking about CMLL’s Tuesday show. It could be better! After an excellent Niebla Roja-Sansón match last week the Tuesday show regresses back into being a whole lot of matches that appear to be leading nowhere. It would all be so boring if not for a Lightning Match in the fourth slot that looks so promising I’m tempted to name it after whatever hyped prospect is coming through the Cubs organization right now. I’m very excited about that match. The rest?
But that’s not going to stop me from bringing this preview to you sports fans. So what are we waiting for? Let’s get to it.
Leono & Sonic vs. El Coyote & Grako
What to Expect: Is it…can it be?! It is! LOOK OUT WHEN HE STORMS THROUGH, SONIC THE LUCHADOR! DON’T DOUBT WHAT HE CAN DO, SONIC THE LUCHADOR! SONIC, HE CAN REALLY MOVE! SONIC, HE’S GOT AN ATTITUUUUUUUUDE! SONIC, HE’S THE FASTEST THING ALIVE; HE’S THE FASTEST THING ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
Now that it has and Sonic has been properly welcomed back, let’s start wishing he hadn’t been so he could avoid teaming up with Leono. Only in CMLL can you disappear for long ass periods of time (despite being good), finally get another shot and it’s a tag match with Leono. It’s not all bad because Coyote and Grako are solid rudos, but in fact it actually is because of gorram Leono. Have I made it clear enough Leono sucks? Well at least it’ll be fun for the few minutes Sonic is in. Plus now I can start making these Sonic the Luchador jokes again, always a good thing. Now if only CMLL named someone Shadow so I could start dropping lyrics of his impeccable theme song. ALL HAIL SHADOW; HEROES RISE AGAIN! Oops, did it anyway!
Winners: Sonic the Luchador carries Leono to glory with a three fall victory.
La Guerrera, La Jarochita, Marcela vs. Metálica, Reyna Isis, Seductora
What to Expect: I know I’m not the only one who has gotten a little sick of Dalys recently…and yet I look at this match and what’s the first thing I think it needs more of? Dalys. There are definitely qualities about her (especially since Zeuxis and Lady Maravilla ran for the hills) that are off putting but my Grodd she can at least do a few things, unlike Seductora who can only be valuable when Princesa Sugehit is around. She isn’t this go around which means she’ll be dragging the match down while Marcela coasts, Jarochita whelms and Metálica get nothing to do. The only things I’ll give this match is that a) the Reyna Isis improvement tour will continue (I don’t care if it’s minimal, at least it’s something) and b) La Guerrera looked really good her last time out. Unfortunately that was on a Friday whereas this show is on a Tuesday. You get the picture.
Winners: Feels like an easy ruda victory. They take it in three falls.
Fuego, Pegasso, Rey Cometa vs. Kawato, Misterioso, Sagrado
What to Expect: If you’re someone who wanted to see Pegasso and Rey Cometa team together again, this one is for you. Beyond that…well I guess it’ll be nice to see Sagrado again after a few weeks off the streams. Beyond that I anticipate this to be a perfectly acceptable if hum drum Tuesday show match. Hopefully Kawato puts in better work than he did on Friday. Who am I kidding; he was working with Esfinge on Friday, which means he’ll be over 9,000% better for this shindig.
Winners: I like the rudos again. They take it in three after Misterioso hits a Gory Bomb and Sagrado…does he still do the One Winged Angel? Whatever his finisher is, he’ll do that and the rudos will win.
Audaz vs. Tritón
What to Expect: MOTHER OF PUSS BUCKET WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS?!
You could combine the sandstorm scene of Mad Max: Fury Road, Scandal’s “The Warrior”, Ultima Lucha Tres Part Four and all of The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time into one ball of awesomeness and it would not equal the awesomeness of this match…if all goes right. I know; I hate qualifiers to but it has to be brought up in this case. Will these guys give the full effort on a Tuesday show? Will they click? Will either Audaz or Tritón prove capable of basing for the other? Will CMLL give them enough time? I’m 100% certain both will try their asses off and if nothing else CMLL will give those two six to eight minutes to work their magic, more than enough to create something worthwhile. Audaz and Tritón basing for each other, while getting the chemistry right, is what scares me. How many times have we seen a sure fire match fail for those reasons? If they manage to get it right…holy shit this could be special. I mean its Audaz and Tritón; one of those guys is largely considered the best young luchadores in the business today and the other is so great he and his longtime pal (Titán) singlehandedly saved a match this past Friday. You’ll want to see this just for the potential it brings.
Winner: I wouldn’t mind the result either way but it probably should be Audaz considering he is relatively unblemished while Tritón seems doomed to the midcard until someone talks him into doing what Puma just did (and there’s no guarantee he gets opportunities like Puma has even if he takes the leap). So I’ll go with the youngster to win in about seven minutes with that awesome rolling armbar of his.
Blue Panther, Kráneo, Stuka Jr. vs. Ephesto, Hechicero, Luciferno
What to Expect: I have no idea what to say about this match. It’s not good, it’s not bad, it’s not must see, it’s not “turn the damn thing off and never speak of it again”; the phrase “just kind of there” was built for matches like this. And that’s a shame because Blue Panther and Hechicero are in it! If CMLL wants to change my mind on the “just kind of there” feeling then they can start by making Panther and Hechicero the focal point of this match, building to a Panther win and the legend challenging Hechicero to a title match next week. Life and CMLL (on Tuesdays) isn’t that good though so look for this to be by the numbers with Kráneo being funny, Panther, Stuka and Hechicero doing cool things, Luciferno existing and Ephesto doing that suicide dive in between several minutes of me begging for his retirement.
Winners: The rudos because there is no Grodd and the cage wasn’t 30 feet. Search your feelings Ted, you know it to be true. Anyways Ephesto, Hechi and Luciferno win in three.
Ángel de Oro, Mistico, Niebla Roja vs. Felino, Mr. Niebla, Negro Casas
What to Expect: Somehow we’ve transitioned from “just kind of there” to an even stronger example of “just kind of there.” And it’s a match that features Negro Casas of all people! Thank Grodd Audaz and Tritón is on this show because otherwise I’d have fallen asleep just from doing this preview. It be a full blown Naito situation.
The sad thing is if you put this match on a Friday it would resemble a match that had a shot. But it’s Tuesday, this match will be coming about two hours into the show and unless something is getting set up it’s highly unlikely these six are going to give it a full go. There will be a moonsault/hurricanrana or two, maybe Niebla Roja gets off his rolling elbow attack and Casas will be Casas. But it’s hard to get excited for this one, which is a shame because everyone here (yes, even you Niebla) can be a lot of fun in a great situation. This isn’t one.
Winners: The technicos send the fans home happy with a quick three fall victory after Mistico taps out Casas with La Casita.
That’s game sports fans. Let’s meet again tonight around midnight for the CMLL Puebla results. Man that sounded more ominous than it needed to. Till next time!
Please change disks to continue…