Good news sports fans; this is the last week we have to deal with CMLL’s lukewarm buildup to Homenaje a Dos Leyendas. PRAISE BE! The bad news; we still have to deal with tomorrow’s show, which is the third straight show that (on paper) looks to be more dire than Dire Straits. Yes the first show two weeks ago looked bad and wound up being good but that was because Cavernario vs. Titán was on it. This week has Gil Muertes vs. Diamante Azul…you get the picture. And if you don’t, you’ll get it by the end of this preview. Let’s start this slog.
Oro Jr. & Stigma vs. Nitro & Sangre Azteca
What to Expect: I look at this match and all I can think about is how Oro Jr. should call in sick tomorrow. That or jump to AAA immediately. Or just quite lucha all together. Anything would be better than teaming with Stigma to face a guy who was last good in 2008 and another guy who was last good…was Nitro ever good? Who knows? Who cares?! Abandon ship and forget this match.
Winners: Nitro and Sangre Azteca take this in three excruciatingly bad falls.
Fuego, Rey Cometa, Star Jr. vs. Kawato San, Tiger, Virus
What to Expect: I’ll let a depressed Fox Mulder in the arms of Dana Scully sum up this match.
Maybe there is Fox; maybe there is. I mean there’s not much of it; this is the second match after all and some of these guys are prime candidates to be in coast mode because there’s no chance of it ever getting better than this in CMLL. But all three rudos can be good, Fuego had a really strong Lightning Match performance a few weeks ago and Rey Cometa and Star Jr. can be GREAT (and Cometa usually is). I wouldn’t count on a good match but maybe, just maybe, Special Agent Mulder is right and hope springs eternal.
Winners: The technicos take it in three falls after Cometa takes out Tiger with a dive and Fuego and Star Jr. get pins on Kawato and Virus.
Esfinge, Titán, Tritón vs. Rey Bucanero, Shocker, Vangellys
What to Expect: Nothing in this world can get any more depressing than two really good luchadores in Titán and Tritón teaming with Esfinge to take on two over the hill luchadores and Fuhrer Bison. And I say this after watching On Her Majesty’s Secret Service last night. Have you seen the ending of that movie? Spoiler; let’s just say it makes James Bond’s mood at the end of Casino Royale look chipper.
Winners: Rey Rey Buc, Shocker and Vangellys take this in three falls because there is no Grodd and the cage wasn’t 30 feet. Sorry Teddy; it’s just science.
Atlantis, Dragón Lee, Valiente vs. Cuatrero, Forastero, Sansón
What to Expect: What a world we live in where this match is likely the best thing that will happen on this CMLL show. And it features a guy in Atlantis who was once again looking wobbly as holy hell just a few days ago. The good news is Atlantis seems to work best with the Dinamitas these days, Dragón Lee and Valiente will be flying high and the Dinamitas are still the Dinamitas. They don’t have bad matches; they sometimes have okay matches sure but never bad. As long as these six are given time and Dragón Lee in particular is allowed to cut loose then this match will be watchable and has a chance to be more.
Winners: I like the technicos. They take it after Atlantis gets Sansón up for Atlantida (somehow) after Lee and Valiente take out Cuatrero and Forastero with some dives.
Diamante Azul vs. Gil Muertes
What to Expect: Are you ready for the riveting story of how this match came together sports fans?! Well here it is; Gil Muertes came to CMLL as Gilbert El Boricua, a name no one cares about, hence why I call him Gil Muertes (a combo of Gilbert and his Lucha Underground alter ego’s name Mil Muertes). He’s a big guy; Diamante Azul is a big guy. They feuded in a few matches until Gil pulled Diamante Azul’s mask off last week. And that sports fans is how the blockbuster match of Diamante Azul and Gil Muertes came to be. Riveting stuff if you’d never watched wrestling before.
Now I’m an optimistic person sports fans and thus I feel obliged to give a scenario where this otherwise hopeless match might actually work. Those who have watched Gil Muertes in the last year know he hasn’t looked good at all; quite frankly I’m not sure he’s looked good at any point over the last few years outside of the Lucha Underground Temple. But I will say (and keep in mind, I may be crazy) that over the past few weeks he has moved a bit better, wrestled a bit smoother; he’s still nowhere near the guy he once was but it’s progress compared to what I’ve seen from him in the last year. How much that’ll matter however will depend on Diamante Azul; you know, the guy who hasn’t looked good in months and just had a performance in The Crash recently where many thought he was in no condition to perform. I doubt the latter will play a part this time but the former will, and Gil Muertes is no longer a dude who can carry someone like Azul to a good match. In other words, don’t expect a miracle. I wouldn’t be totally floored if this match was passable, but my gut tells me it’ll be somewhere between bad and hilariously bad.
Winner: Azul sends Gil Muertes to the CMLL showers for good with a three fall victory, capped off by a German Suplex.
Ángel de Oro, Carístico, Niebla Roja vs. Bestia del Ring, Rush, Terrible
What to Expect: This is a main event featuring three really good technicos in Carístico, Oro and Roja, a really good rudo in Terrible and arguably the best rudo in CMLL in Rush. This would normally be cause for celebration. And yet…
The power of Bestia del Ring sports fans; he can take the best luchadores in the world and make them uninteresting just by standing there. Well other than LA Park but he’s LA Park. Hayden Christensen could be made to look good with him. The point is Bestia’s role here will once again keep most of us from getting invested in the match and CMLL will go into Homenaje a Dos Leyendas next week cold because Bestia del Ring inexplicably had to be involved in the main event. The good news is this is the last week CMLL will be building to this match so there is that.
Winners: The technicos win in three falls via DQ. Thank you, drive home safe and CAN WE PLEASE END THIS MISERY?!
And the misery is ended. Thank Grodd. I’ll see you all tomorrow sports fans to review this show. Till then.
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