Tonight’s CMLL Super Viernes sucked sports fans. It sucked long, it sucked hard; it sucked more than a bad movie double feature of Jumper and Pearl Harbor. It sucked so bad that I’d rather not talk about it, but I’m going to because a few things happened that weren’t completely terrible and shit…what else am I going to do? So let’s get this over with so I can go to sleep alright?

 

 

Dark Magic & Sangre Azteca defeated Oro Jr. & Super Astro Jr. two falls to one

 

There’s no other way to put it sports fans; this match was depressing. I didn’t think it could get worse than Akuma being forced to team with Espanto Jr. yet again…and then they were replaced by a Dark Magic/Sangre Azteca team that may have been the worst I’ve ever seen. At no point in this match did these guys look capable of delivering a good performance, nor did it look like they cared outside of the time Dark Magic got hot at Oro Jr. for a botched Package Piledriver (a move botched because Magic didn’t know how to sell it). They were 100% putrid and gave no help to Oro or Super Astro, who both were inexplicably trying their best to make this match good. They never had a chance with who was on the other side. A miserable match and one that makes you wonder why Dark Magic and Sangre Azteca are still allowed to work in this promotion.

 

Chamuel, El Guapito, Zacarias defeated Atomo, El Gallito, Microman two falls to one

 

After this match was over I saw people sort of reacting with surprise that Chamuel and Microman were the only two guys in this match capable of doing anything. And I was just sitting there thinking to myself…didn’t we all know that already? Are we really just all collectively realizing its Microman/Chamuel or bust?

 

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The good news is that Microman and Chamuel were so good in this match that they wound up elevating this to the best micro stars match in quite some time. They did get some help from the other four guys, who seemed to be a little bit more energetic than usual. None of that changed the fact that their moonsaults are more limited than the Yankees rotation, leaving it all up to Chamuel and Microman to carry the action. Carry it they did with some really strong sequences, most notably a Microman hurricanrana spot in fall two that was simply majestic. Why CMLL can’t just do a singles match between these two and cut out the rest of the fat is beyond me. Let’s hope they figure it out soon because as decent as this match was it confirmed what all of us should’ve already known; the micros division is two dudes and no one else.

 

Metálica defeated Amapola, Avispa Dorada, La Guerrera, La Infernal, Maligna, Marcela, Sanely, Seductora and Tiffany

 

I’ll give this history making cibernetico this much sports fans; it was easily the most boring cibernetico I’ve ever watched. I’m all for the luchadoras getting a chance anywhere but this match clearly showed (as many of us already knew) that the CMLL luchadoras division is about as deep as a kiddie pool. By my count only Avispa Dorada, Metálica and MAYBE La Guerrera stood out as young talents in this match that could actually go. Everyone else was talented but overused and past their prime (Marcela, Amapola), mediocre (Sanely, Seductora, Tiffany) or inexplicably there (La Infernal, Maligna). Couple that with little to no excitement throughout this bout and the result was a dull affair. The only good news I can give you is that a) Avispa Dorada was allowed to do some cool stuff, b) both Dorada and Metálica made it to the final three and c) Metálica won the match. If nothing else CMLL should be using this luchadoras tournament to push someone new and Metálica, at worst the second best worker in this match, is someone deserving of the shot. I wish it had been a more interesting match getting there and I seriously hope next week’s cibernetico is more interesting, but at least the result was correct.

 

Lightning Match

Dragón Lee defeated Gran Guerrero

 

If there’s one thing this match proved beyond a shadow of a doubt, 2019 just isn’t CMLL’s year. Even the good things find a way to go off the rails and this match was no exception. Both Dragón Lee and Gran Guerrero were really good here; it wasn’t the best performance you’ll see from these guys but for the first seven minutes or so they delivered a highly enjoyable contest complete with big moves and a great pace. And then, just when it seemed like they were going to stick the landing, referee Pompin came along, forgot to count a three and torpedoed the match more than that zombie guy from the last few minutes of Sunshine. On a night where La Infernal, Maligna, Sangre Azteca and Dark Magic (more on him in a moment) proved they needed to be fired, Pompin showed that it’s really time for him to retire. What a shame because this match was going to be a good match if it had ended right. Instead the ending overshadowed this greatly and the match ultimately turned out to be a fun bout with a bad ending. Like I said; even when CMLL does right, they do wrong. But don’t worry; it only gets worse from here.

 

Ciber the Main Man, Rush, Terrible defeated Cavernario, Dark Magic, Último Guerrero two falls to one

 

That’s right sports fans; you are not seeing things. Dark Magic, he who was so bad in the CMLL opener than one actively wonders how he is allowed to practice lucha libre, not only wrestled a second time tonight in this match (replacing Mr. Niebla) but was allowed to score a pinfall victory on Rush. Let me repeat; DARK MAGIC PINNED RUSH!

 

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Quite frankly the rest of the bullshit in this match doesn’t matter. I don’t care that CMLL took one more step towards an Último Guerrero-Ciber the Main Man match no one wants to see. I don’t care that this match was straight garbage. None of it matters because I simply cannot get over CMLL allowing Dark Magic to not only work this match BUT PIN THEIR TOP RUDO! Have they officially lost their minds? Does Dark Magic have dirt on someone in the front office? It’s not like he improved between the opener and this match either; he was so terrible that after a suicide dive Rush could be seen glaring a hole into him. To think that a few weeks ago Rush vs. LA Park looked to be a potential Aniversario main event…and now Rush is watching UG-Ciber getting the rocket while he loses falls to Dark friggin Magic. This promotion sucks, this match sucks; EVERYTHING SUCKS! I couldn’t believe I was still watching this show after this match. What a load of shit.

 

Cuatrero, Forastero, Sansón defeated Carístico, Mistico, Volador Jr. two falls to none

 

The good news sports fans; this match was EASILY the best thing on this show by a mile and a half. The bad news; it went only two falls and featured yet another lame finish. I get why as CMLL is clearly setting up a bigger match between these teams down the road but good Grodd did I (and this show) need a different finish than what we got. At least the match was solid before that. The Dinamitas were terrific as always and while Volador continues to be in coast mode both Carístico and Mistico brought their A game, particular in fall two when they had some cool dives. With another fall this match could’ve made the show worth watching. Instead it was a solid match with a bad ending that didn’t make this show worth watching. Thank Grodd it’s all over though.

 

And with that sports fans I’m off to wonder if I should ever watch a CMLL show again. See you tomorrow for Triplemania.

 

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