Let’s keep this brief sports fans; I woke up with a headache this morning and really just want to lie down at the moment. I’m not though because it’s Thursday, CMLL Super Viernes is tomorrow and even with a few more questionable matches this week the show looks pretty damn good. So let’s power through so I can then relax. ON WITH THE SHOW!

 

LET-THERE-BE-MORE-LUCHA

 

Robin & Starman vs. Apocalipsis & Inquisidor

 

What to Expect: I’m not sure what I want to know more; how this Robin/Starman union came to be or how (Not Rey) Apocalipsis and Pólvora’s older brother got onto Super Viernes. Either way that’s far more interesting than this match will be. Robin will try as per usual and Starman can give you something but…I mean it’s freakin (Not Rey) Apocalipsis and Inquisidor. Unless Pólvora is moonlighting as his brother, this match is boned.

 

Winners: It occurred to me that my “when in doubt go with the rudos” phrase makes little sense when I often times bring up the Canadian Dollar bit in the same column. Why do I bring this up? I’m bored I guess. In any event the rudos are winning in three falls.

 

La Guerrera, La Jarochita, Marcela vs. Dalys, Metálica, Tiffany

 

What to Expect: I think I may spend this entire match watching clips of Zeuxis matches while Sarah McLachlan songs play in the background. This is that dire. We might get something interesting from Jarochita, Marcela, Dalys and Metálica but Guerrera is a massive question mark and Tiffany…yeah. And you just know CMLL is going to use Tiffany more than they should because it cannot be helped. Between this match and the opener, it may not kill you to be a few minutes late tuning in.

 

Winners: I like the technicas in this one. They take it in three.

 

Esfinge, Guerrero Maya Jr., Tritón vs. Puma, Tiger, Virus

 

What to Expect: I haven’t used this one in a bit…but it needs to be used after the lifeless romp that is matches one and two on this card.

 

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I don’t know about you sports fans but I see no flaws in this one. Well other than that brief spot where Esfinge and Tritón will pose. Everyone is above the board. It was just a few weeks ago Puma and Tiger were the kings of the second and third match in Arena Mexico before getting a few weeks off; now they’re back with Virus in tow, which is sure to generate results. They also have a slightly different group to work with in Esfinge, Maya and Tritón, which should give us some variety and Maya and Tritón some opportunities to do cool shit. It’s so good that not even the third wheel himself can goof this up. It’ll be a challenge to live up to the last two weeks in this slot but if anyone can do it, it’s these five and Esfinge.

 

Winners: Do Puma and Tiger ever lose these things? They aren’t starting today. Rudos win this in three falls after an awesome Puma/Tiger double team. It will be called the BOLA. I’ll see myself out.

 

Atlantis, Flyer, Soberano Jr. vs. Cuatrero, Forastero, Sansón

 

What to Expect: I don’t know about you but it appears CMLL took notice of the match Atlantis and the Dinamitas had last week because they’re bringing it back for a sequel, only with Flyer and Soberano in for Ángel de Oro and Niebla Roja. And you know what; that may be an improvement! Certainly Oro and Roja work great with the NGD but a) both Flyer and Soberano are more dynamic, exciting high flyers than those two and b) Soberano has ungodly chemistry with all three guys. You know they’ll put that to use, you know Flyer will be looking to continue his hot streak and CMLL proved last week that Atlantis, at least with these three, will be used sparingly and will be able to do more because Cuatrero, Forastero and Sansón are that good at their jobs. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if this wound up being the Match of the Evening when all is said and done.

 

Winners: Atlantis towered over the Dinamitas last week…and I see no reason he won’t again here unless something is being set up. Atlantis, Flyer and Soberano take it in three after Forastero walks into La Atlantida.

 

Ciber the Main Man, Scharly Rock Star, The Chris vs. Euforia, Gran Guerrero, Último Guerrero

 

What to Expect: One day, and though that day may never come, I hope to walk up to the guy who’s job in CMLL is to name the new wrestlers and just ask “why?” Seriously; WHY?! I get there were maybe rights issues and all but the best that could be come up for Cibernetico, Charly Manson and El Zorro was Ciber the Main Man, Scharly Rock Star and The Chris? THE CHRIS?! That makes Zorro sound like he’s a parody of both The Rock and “The Juice” Juventud Guerrera. Is he going to start doing catchphrases now or something?

 

 

The good news for the name guy is that there’s only one thing direr than Ciber, Charly and Zorro’s new names; the match they’re in. We all got a good look at Klan Kaoz last week and if not for Pentagon running in at the end I’m pretty sure the story would’ve been how terrible all three guys were. They had nothing in that match; so much nothing that Volador seemed to check out midway through. Normally I would say that doesn’t matter given how many chances CMLL continues to give to guys who suck (hi Bestia del Ring!) but this match feels different. It actually feels like a last chance match for Klan Kaoz, especially if they can’t have a good match with three of the best workers CMLL has. Here’s the problem; Big Euf, the GG and the UG may be great but I’m pretty sure even a full effort from Ciber, Scharly and The Chris won’t be enough. They just don’t have it anymore sports fans. So unless a miracle happens or the Guerreros have an all time great performance, I expect this match to be mediocre as balls and for it to potentially be the end of Ciber the Main Man, Scharly Rock Star and The Chris in CMLL.

 

Winners: The Guerreros. Clean. In three falls. Let’s move on before I break out my IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS jokes.

 

Carístico, Valiente, Volador Jr. vs. Penta El Zero M, Rush, Terrible

 

What to Expect: Back to the good stuff! A lot going on in this one sports fans. Pentagon (under his Penta El Zero M name, at least until CMLL goofs that up) wants to beat the tar out of Carístico. Carístico wants to do the same. The problem is he’s teaming with two guys who can’t stand him, so much so that Valiente and Volador walked out as he was getting beaten up by Pentagon last week (though not before Volador decided to cane the shit out of Carístico just for kicks). The only reason Carístico has to feel they won’t do it again this week is Rush and Terrible being on the other side; you know, two guys who have been feuding with Volador and family member LA Park over the last month. Finally, there’s the fact that Pentagon has also had problems with Dragón Lee, who isn’t in this match (he’ll in fact be working the King of Indies this night)…but his brother Rush is, which could lead to issues there.

 

Image result for spaceballs everybody got that

 

What does this all mean? I don’t know. I do know this match has the chance to be really strong if they play it straight. Carístico and Volador are both excellent and this is exactly the type of match someone like Valiente would get up for. And I don’t think anyone needs to be sold on a team featuring a red hot Rush, the underrated excellence that is Terrible and the ace of Lucha Underground. It’s just a question of whether CMLL will play this straight or allow the several interlocking storylines to swallow this match whole. And even then things may work out! All I know is I’m very excited for this match. I’m not sure it’ll be better than the Atlantis match earlier, but it’ll certainly be fun, especially when it comes to the possible scenarios coming out of it.

 

Winners: The plan appears to be Carístico vs. Pentagon for two weeks from now (next week is the Atlantis Anniversary show) so I expect the finish to set that up. How will they do it? I’m guessing the usual CMLL special, with Pentagon going low on Carístico to get DQ’d, followed by some challenges and post match brawling. Its CMLL sports fans; they’re still going to do the classics, even with new people involved.

 

We’re outta here sports fans. I’ll be back tomorrow to review this show, but for now I’m going to lie down because my head still hurts. Till next time!

 

 

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