It’s that time again sports fans! The part where LU has another kick ass episode? The part where I reuse this Animaniacs gag again?! No; it’s time for my CMLL Super Viernes preview, which is disturbingly becoming the only show I preview during the week. This is what happens when LU releases only limited material for their shows, AAA has no streamed shows, Crash has no streamed shows and the CMLL Puebla and Tuesday shows are only slightly a notch above the sixth season of 24. The good news is tomorrow’s CMLL should be better than that 24 season and actually has the potential to be quite good with a duel threat in the form of its semi-main and main event. Of course it’s CMLL, so by the time it’s over tomorrow I may be rage quitting about how CMLL blew yet another layup. They do like to do that recently after all. But that’s tomorrow. For now let’s be (somewhat) hopeful and break this bad boy down!
Robin & Star Jr. vs. Akuma & Camorra
What to Expect: Gorram it all to hell sports fans; we were one Camorra away from this being the first worthwhile CMLL opener since…January? February? Whatever the last one was that Flyer was in? I feel like Megatron in that Beast Wars episode where Dinobot dies; so close. I WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOO CLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I think that sums it up, but I’ll leave you on the hopeful note of Star Jr. and Robin potentially doing something cool to make this worthwhile. Or as Robin calls it, what I did last week.
Winners: TOO CLOSE TO CALL! And now I have to go find my Canadian Dollar…found it! Heads technicos, Moose rudos…praise be sports fans it is heads. Robin and Star Jr. somehow win this match in three falls. The Canadian coin called it, not I!
Avispa Dorada, La Jarochita, Princesa Sugehit vs. Amapola, Dalys, Reyna Isis
What to Expect: The good news; Avispa Dorada is back after her really strong debut just last week!
The bad news…actually there isn’t any bad news. Unless you count Dorada working with the same people again, which was going to happen because CMLL only has about eight luchadoras who should be shown on streams. In any event I’m guessing we get a lot of the same stuff we did last week. Dorada will be really cool, Jarochita will be hit or miss (hopefully like last week she’s a hit), Sugehit and Amapola will be solid, Dalys will be somewhere between decent and overly mechanical and Reyna Isis will continue her forever war with the tear-away pants. Nothing makes you appreciate La Máscara more sports fans than seeing Reyna tearing at her pants the way I tear away at a Kit Kat Bar wrapper. By the way, I usually have the same result as she does. Where am I going with this?
Winners: If I were CMLL I’d have Dorada get the pin to give the technicos the three fall victory. This is CMLL though so expect Dalys to pin Dorada with a Spiral Bomb in fall three as I desperately wonder why I gave up watching Chuck for this.
Audaz, Esfinge, Soberano Jr. vs. Dragón Rojo Jr., Pólvora, Templario
What to Expect: If I were a lazy writer, I would save myself some time by posting the exact same opening paragraph I did for the opening match, only with Esfinge replacing Camorra. It’s pretty much the same type of situation. Alright that’s not true; first it’s actually worse because Titán was supposed to be in that spot and now he’s not. Second, whereas that opener had three guys who were good/great and one dude capable of ruining everything, this match has five guys who are good/great and one capable of ruining everything. That’s a two luchador swing! It also should be enough to keep Esfinge from screwing things up, especially since Audaz and Soberano are wunderkinds and you just know Soberano will be looking to impress before he heads off to become the next great New Japan superstar. You can read all about it in my best selling graphic novel, The Screw Master Takes Japan. It’s gonna be the next big Netflix show after The Umbrella Academy makes it big.
Winners: Soberano leaves Mexico on a high note, leading his team to a three fall victory that sees him pin Pólvora with a Fire Driver while Audaz submits Templario with a Rolling Armbar.
Atlantis, David Finlay Jr., Hijo de LA Park vs. Bestia del Ring, Rey Bucanero, Shocker
What to Expect: What a year for Hijo de LA Park. Not only has he gotten to wrestle both Triplemania, the Aniversario and countless of other high end matches this year (not to mention a few Match of the Year candidates), but now he can one day tell El Nieto de LA Park that he was once in a trios match with Atlantis and Fit Finlay’s son…and was the best guy on the team. These are strange times we live in sports fans. Too bad for Baby Park the rudo side is the drizzling shits; the team is so bad that Rey Rey Buc is the best guy. REY REY BUC! That’s like how Chris O’Donnell was the best guy in Batman and Robin; once you know that then you know it’s doomed. I have so little confidence in that rudo side that even if Baby Park and Finlay (who I can’t say I’ve ever been that high on) have career defining performances and Atlantis continues this minor renaissance of his (yes I consider him doing backbreakers a sign he’s regaining his mojo) I still don’t think this match will be good. It’s a testament to how average Bucanero is now and how terrible of workers Bestia and Shocker are.
Winners: Another too close to call scenario. Canadian Dinero, take thy wheel! We’ll spin it this time. Heads technicos, moose rudos…wow heads again. That’s good though cause that means Baby Park and the Remains of Atlantis will take this in three falls. Yes that’s what I’m calling the technico team. It will also be the name of my five piece emo band when I finally convince my brother to take up the drums.
LA Park, Mistico, Volador Jr. vs. Cavernario, Hechicero, The Chris
What to Expect: This match has undergone a complete 180 sports fans. You may recall at the Grand Prix last week that LA Park, Baby Park and Mistico were involved in a match with Cavernario, The Chris and Ciber the Main Man, one that featured a Ciber performance so brutal that Park decided to angrily stomp off after the match rather than celebrate his win. CMLL decided the appropriate response was to do the same match this week (only with Volador in for Baby Park), which would’ve been funny if it wasn’t so CMLL. And then something even weirder happened. I’m not quite sure when, but sometime this week CMLL removed Ciber from this match, replacing him with Hechicero (who is being moved up from the fourth match). Just like that sports fans we went from a terrible fourth match and a semi-main held down by Ciber’s decaying corpse to a terrible fourth match and a semi-main that now should be excellent. All because LA Park probably threatened to kill Ciber if he had to work with him again and CMLL reacted like this.
Alright that probably didn’t happen but really, who cares what did happen? All I know is this match has suddenly become interesting. The worst guy in this match is The Chris and while good ole Zorro isn’t what he used to be, I’ve seen enough from him the last few times out to know he’s the most capable of The Cl4n and a guy who can be hidden with five other talented performers. That’s exactly what Park, Hechicero, Mistico, Volador and Cavernario are, and quite frankly the sheer thought of Hechicero and Park having sequences should be enough to get any lucha fan excited for this bout. Even if it doesn’t happen the match is still loaded with potential pairings like Park/Cav, Volador/Cav, Mistico/Cav, Hechicero/Volador and so on. That is how much of a difference it means to have Hechi here instead of Ciber. We’ll see how it plays out, but unless CMLL switches things around again, the match is short changed or someone gets hurt, this has the makings of being just as good, if not better, than the main event. A week ago I wouldn’t have thought it possible. Now I’m like one of those people Triumph the Insult Comic dog insulted while they waited for Attack of the Clones.
Winners: I said this on Twitter and I’ll say it here; if this were any other promotion than CMLL, I would swear that Hechicero (who’s gimmick mind you is that of a dark, evil sorcerer) was put into this match to start a feud with LA Park (whose gimmick is based off the Day of the Dead), culminating in a match at one of the Dia de Muertos shows CMLL does at the end of October/beginning of November. Sadly this is CMLL so that’s not happening and this match is ending with the technicos winning in three falls, likely with Park pinning The Chris for the victory.
Michael Elgin vs. Último Guerrero
What to Expect: It’s the rematch from the final two in the Grand Prix last week AND a match from a CMLL Sunday show two years ago. That’s really all you need to know. Oh, and the fact that this match will probably be really good. It was last week when the Grand Prix came down to these two men and it certainly was two years ago. Since then Elgin has gotten more polarizing out of the ring but he’s also gotten better in the ring, especially in Mexico where he seems to standout even more so than he does in Japan. The UG has also remained at a high level and is perhaps even better equipped for this match considering some of the power spots he’s added to this came (I will mark out like mad if UG attempts and hits the dead life apron Superplex. It has to be attempted!). So yeah; I see now flaws unless an injury is involved. I’m a little more excited for the semi-main but this has all the makings of being the best match on this show and has a chance to be one of the better matches this year if both guys perform to their full potential. Considering the stage, they will be trying.
Winner: The UG, all day every day. I mean he didn’t lose last week just to come back and lose again this week, and it’s not like a hair match can be set up with Elgin going forward. It’s just a matter of when and how; I say the when is the third fall and the how is a Guerrero Special off the top when Elgin decides for the first time in his life that the moonsault is a good idea. And with that the UG will emerge victorious.
There you have it sports fans. I’ll see you tomorrow with a live review of this show. TILL THEN!
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