Death, taxes, CMLL on Friday nights; all are certainties and right now none of them are enjoyable! There was some hope after Homenaje a Dos Leyendas wrapped up that CMLL may start putting on exciting Friday shows again. Instead it appears they’ll just continue putting out boring cards with one or two glimmers of hope, like this Friday’s Super Viernes show. Feel the excitement! Actually do so, because this preview is a lot of fun and Lucha Madness starts tomorrow as well. You’ve at least got that to look forward to after all. Let’s get started!

 

 

Star Jr. & Stigma vs. El Coyote & Grako

 

What to Expect: One day the terrible CMLL opening match will give way to a passable kind of bout, with Star Jr., Coyote and Grako all there to see it. But it is not this day; THIS DAY IT SUCKS! Sorry, had to get that in. Yeah this will be crap because CMLL never allows guys to do things in the opener, even if Star Jr., El Coyote and Grako are pretty good. Sorry guys.

 

Winners: Coyote and Grako continue their streak of winning insignificant matches, taking this one in three falls.

 

Kaho Kobayashi, Marcela, Mystique vs. Amapola, Dalys, Reyna Isis

 

What to Expect: KAHO KOBAYASHI!

 

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Honestly that’s all this match has going for it but what else does it need really? After watching Kaho make the Super Viernes promo video (you know; the one where a luchador runs down who will be on the card for next Friday that plays on every show all week long) I’ve gone from liking her to falling desperately in love with her (as a talent!). She and her personality made that promo endearing. ENDEARING! The best you can usually say about it is that it only takes up 30 seconds of your time, and yet Kaho’s had me smiling each time. So for her and her alone, I’m excited for this match, even if Kaho’s ability and charm will be nowhere near enough to raise this out of the rut the CMLL luchadoras division is in.

 

Winners: The rudas win in three falls because there is no Grodd and the cage wasn’t 30 feet. Ask Teddy Hart about it at the Reading Rainbow show.

 

Audaz, Flyer, Stuka Jr. vs. Kawato San, Pólvora, Vangellys

 

What to Expect: Dammit CMLL; all you needed to do was add a pinch of Hechicero, hold the Vangellys and this would’ve been a must see match. Instead Fuhrer Bison is in, Hechicero is probably stuck doing commentary for a show that can barely outdraw an AAA rerun, and this match will still be salvaged because Audaz is in it and he saves the day more times than Nathan Drake in a lost city. Come for the one spectacular move Audaz is likely going to do, stay for the three he ends up doing while inspiring Flyer to do the same (fingers crossed!).

 

Winners: The technicos finally get on the board with a three fall victory after Audaz submits M. Bison of the Will. Remember this prediction when Vangellys has inexplicably pinned Audaz tomorrow to win and I’m arrested for vandalism.

 

Lightning Match

Cavernario vs. Forastero

 

What to Expect: This would be a certified “no doubt about it” Lightning Match if I hadn’t seen Forastero flop in two consecutive “no doubt about it” Lightning Matches with Soberano last year. And yes I’m putting that on Forastero considering Soberano then followed those matches with an insane match with Cavernario in Japan and a great Lightning Match with Templario soon after. The good news for Forastero is that he’s still talented and Cavernario is potentially the best luchador alive at the moment. One would think that if anyone were going to get the most out of Forastero in a singles environment it would be the Caveman. Of course I thought that about Soberano…so I guess we’ll see. I’m leaning towards very good, but don’t be surprised if this winds up being disappointing in the same way it’ll be disappointing to see Iron Man live at the end of Avengers: Endgame.

 

Winner: Cavernario, all day every day. He takes it at the 9 minute mark with La Cavernaria.

 

Ángel de Oro, Niebla Roja, Titán vs. Bestia del Ring, Mr. Niebla, Terrible

 

What to Expect: There is only one interesting thing about this match sports fans; and that’s Terrible wrestling for the second time in a week after his right shoulder was pulled out of socket during the Homenaje a Dos Leyendas main event. Like how the hell is he doing that?! Is he superhuman? Is he one of those super soldier aliens from the later seasons of The X-Files we don’t speak about? IS HE JOHN DOGGETT IN DISGUISE?!

 

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Whatever the case, Terrible being able to somehow work is the only thing worth raising an eyebrow over. And that’s a shame because Ángel de Oro, Niebla Roja and Titán all remain fun to watch while Mr. Niebla remains…fun when not intoxicated? I don’t even know anymore. The point is that Bestia del Ring is involved and as long as he’s involved I care 100% less. He’s that bad. The sooner CMLL gives him the boot, the better we and matches like this will be. Too bad it won’t be tomorrow.

 

Winners: The technicos win after Roja is fouled by Terrible, leading to a rematch of the CMLL Universal Championship match they had and what should’ve been the Homenaje a Dos Leyendas main event. Just a gut feeling I have.

 

Carístico, Diamante Azul, Volador Jr. vs. Euforia, Gran Guerrero, Último Guerrero

 

What to Expect: This match is like the 2010 NBA All Star Game; there are a lot of good pieces, it means absolutely nothing in the long term and somehow Mario Williams wound up in it. And yes, for those keeping score at home, Diamante Azul is the Mario Williams in this scenario. Let’s go live to LeBron having flashbacks.

 

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I mean look sports fans; in a vacuum this is a decent main event. Sure Azul is regressing to the point where people who used to defend him (me) can’t even find anything redeemable anymore, but he’s less of a liability in trios action, especially with a group this good. The problem is a) we’ve see the Guerreros vs. Volador/Carístico a lot recently and b) there’s nothing at all on the line here. There’s no stakes, no meaning, no point; ergo it’s hard to get invested. There’s certainly a chance these guys pull of something special to make this worthwhile, but my guess is this will wind up being a passable, routine match that pales in potential to what Cavernario-Forastero could be.

 

Winners: The technicos win in three falls to send the fans home happy. Thank you and come again next week.

 

There you have it sports fans; I’m off to start preparing some Lucha Madness related things! Don’t forget to check out the site tomorrow morning (or now, depending on when you read this) and vote for who should move onto the Round of 32. TILL THEN!

 

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