It’s time for my least part of Thursday; previewing CMLL Super Viernes when I could be replaying BioShock instead. What a world. In fairness to CMLL, this is yet another Friday show that could potentially be good because it looks solid on paper. Of course the last two shows did as well and…well we’re not going to talk about that now are we? Let’s just get this preview over it so I can go save people in an underwater dystopia already.
Angelito & Último Dragóncito vs. Pequeño Universo & Pierrothito
What to Expect: Maybe this will be it. Maybe this will be the match that makes Angelito stand up, head held high, and exclaim “THAT’S IT!” I’M OUT OF THIS SHITSTAIN OF A PROMOTION!” Yeah never mind, that won’t be happening. This match will suck by the way, though you probably could’ve guessed that when you saw Pequeño Universo listed.
Winners: Rudos win in three falls.
Blue Panther Jr., Drone, Stigma vs. Kawato San, Okumura, Virus
What to Expect: Oh look; a chance to see Stigma and Okumura bore us to tears yet again with sequences that were lame in 1990’s lucha libre.
Alright that’s a little harsh. That part will indeed be hard to stomach but the rest of the match at least has things that could be interesting. I mean Drone and Blue Panther Jr. are good technicos, Virus is great and I don’t know about you but I’m kind of intrigued by this new angry Kawato we caught a glimpse of this past Tuesday. He absolutely wrecked Dulce Gardenia and I wouldn’t be opposed if he did the same to Drone or Stigma on this show. Throw in the fact that Kawato seems to have figured out the whole lucha thing and as long as CMLL doesn’t OD on Stigma-Okumura segments this match may actually be decent. It won’t be good because it’s CMLL but decent isn’t all that bad either.
Winners: Killer Kawato, Virus and Doc Ok take this one in three falls.
Black Panther vs. Esfinge
What to Expect: The amount of potentially fun technico vs. technico Lightning matches CMLL has at their disposal is like the Olive Garden breadsticks; unlimited. Naturally we’re getting that moldy breadstick in the form of Black Panther having to carry Esfinge. Was Guerrero Maya Jr. too busy or too smart to take this match instead? I’m sure the generally reliable Panther will find a way to make moments of this watchable and Esfinge has been known to occasionally deliver a good performance or two. Of course that only happens when five other luchadores are involved and he’s the third wheel of a trios team so…yeah. Not good! Just like this match more than likely.
Winner: Black Panther takes this one at around the seven minute mark with a second rope Shotgun Dropkick.
Audaz, Kráneo, Star Jr. vs. Hechicero, Rey Bucanero, Templario
What to Expect: Can someone tell me why Kráneo is in this match? Anyone? ANYONE?! Like come on CMLL; I can get why Rey Rey Buc is here even if he shouldn’t be (he can at least catch dives) but Kráneo? He’s more out of place than Rapture founder Andrew Ryan at a Fidel Castro birthday bash. This would’ve been an ideal spot for a Guerrero Maya Jr. (my go to guy for replacement luchadores today I guess), Rey Cometa or any of the other endless supply of technicos CMLL has to come in here and do cool things with Audaz and Star Jr. Now instead we’ll get Kráneo doing some comedy that automatically makes this match ten times less interesting. I won’t count it out because the stuff Audaz, Star Jr., Hechicero and Templario do together should be top notch. I just don’t see it being enough to make this match great when Rey Rey Buc and Kráneo are re-enacting Xander Harris vs. the Delta Kappa Zeta noobs. Wow, a BioShock and a Buffy reference in one paragraph. I’m on fire today!
Winners: Technicos take this in three falls after Kráneo pins Bucanero with a Hip Drop.
Stuka Jr., Titán, Valiente vs. Cuatrero, Forastero, Sansón
What to Expect: It’s now time that we all gather around and look at gifs that remind us that the Dinamitas were once a fun, exciting CMLL trio to watch. Let’s all take a moment to soak that in.
And with that the moment is gone, along with any hope I have of this match being good. I just can’t with Cuatrero, Forastero and Sansón right now. They still have some clever ideas on offense (see last week’s performance) and have it in them to be great when they want to be. They just really, REALLY don’t want to be right now for reasons only they can explain. Perhaps that wouldn’t be a huge problem if the technico team opposite them was loaded with high energy talent, but with Stuka and Valiente likely taking it easy this week it leaves Titán as the only guy fitting that bill. And all due respect to Titán but he’s not making this match great all by himself. Expect some crippling, disappointing adequacy. Is that even a proper phrase? Forget it Cult, its CMLL.
Winners: The Dinamitas win in three falls. Yawn.
Mistico, Soberano Jr., Volador Jr. vs. Gran Guerrero, Negro Casas, Último Guerrero
What to Expect: Believe it or not, this is a continuation of the main event we got last week on Super Viernes. Remember when CMLL actually did this match last week, it looked good for a few minutes and then ended quickly so we could do the same damn thing this time around?
So yeah; here we go again sports fans. I’m guessing it’ll be a long the same lines in every way; good action early, an inexplicably quick finish and this time an actual set up for something that will pay off next week. I have no idea what it will be. Negro Casas fouled Soberano last week to end the match and that is a match that would be highly enticing given the chemistry between the two. But Volador and the UG were the ones cutting promos after which means that could be the match up too…because Grodd knows we all want to see that match for the 9,001st time. All I know is some singles match will be set up coming out of this and all we can do is hope it’s a good one. It won’t be because it’s CMLL, but we can still hope.
Winners: The rudos win in three falls after the UG fouls Soberano, leading to the first ever Soberano-UG match next week. I 100% believe this will not happen, but I’m predicting it anyway because a) it’s the most fun scenario and b) I’m bored. Why not think outside the box when bored?!
That’ll do it sports fans. See you tomorrow for the review. TILL THEN!
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