There’s a CMLL Super Viernes tomorrow. I wish there wasn’t. For what seems like the 9,001st time in the last year, CMLL’s top tier show looks anything but. The midcard is uninspired. The major luchadoras showcase seems more predictable a police procedural. The main event features more feuding from Último Guerrero and Ciber the Main Man. All told there are only two things I’m really interested in on this show, and this is a show with seven matches. SEVEN! Looks like another long Friday night for me and the rest of us hopeless souls covering CMLL sports fans. And on that note, let’s start the preview!
Robin & Star Jr. vs. Cancerbero & Raziel
What to Expect: There’s nothing like the feeling you get when you wake up early in the morning, turn on the computer to preview this show and see this match is the opener. I’m honestly stunned I didn’t crawl back into bed while sobbing after seeing this.
Now that may sound harsh but guess what…it isn’t! Sure Robin and Star Jr. are really good luchadores and Star Jr. will have a cool moment or two like he always does. Sure Cancerbero and Raziel can be good. None of that matters. Not a lick! This is the CMLL opener, where restrictions rule the day and Cancerbero and Raziel give the same effort I give when it’s time to wash the dishes. There is no hope. Embrace this notion and you can watch this match with the same numbness I’ve grown accustomed to. Holy shit that got dark right there huh?!
Winners: The rudos take it in three falls.
Atomo, El Gallito, Microman vs. Chamuel, El Guapito, Zacarias
What to Expect: Congratulations CMLL; you have officially made me no longer care about the once red hot CMLL Micro Stars division. It was fun for awhile, then got borderline tedious when we found out only Microman and Chamuel could actually wrestle and now I just can’t find any reason to give a shit about these guys until Microman and Chamuel battle one on one. Perhaps this match will set that up? LOL forget it Cult its CMLL. Yeah this match will be nothing outside of its two stars.
Winners: I believe Chamuel beat Microman the last time so it’s only fitting Microman returns the favor here, giving his team the win in three falls.
Atlantis Jr., Flyer, Titán vs. Ephesto, Luciferno, Mephisto
What to Expect: I actually have some hope for this match. I blame last week, where Atlantis Jr., Titán, Ephesto and Mephisto were all part of a trios match where everyone worked hard and the match was quite good. There will be no Dulce Gardenia this week on the technico side but Flyer is capable of delivering the time of performance Dulce did last week, while replacing Okumura with Luciferno on the rudo side is a wash. It really just comes down to how much these guys (especially Ephesto and Mephisto) want it. They did last week and I’m hoping they will again so we can have another solid undercard match. If nothing else we at least know Atlantis Jr. and Titán will be fun I suppose.
Winners: The technicos get the W in three falls.
CMLL Campeonato Universo de Amazonas Final
Metálica vs. Dalys
What to Expect: Let’s recap sports fans. Two weeks ago Metálica won a cibernetico to qualify for this match. Last week Dalys won another, slightly more entertaining and far more predictable cibernetico to qualify for this match. And that sports fans is how Metálica vs. Dalys for the CMLL Campeonato Universo de Amazonas Championship came to be.
I’ll be honest sports fans; I want to be excited for this one but just can’t find it in me. It’s a shame because Metálica, at least compared to a lot of the other CMLL luchadoras, is quite talented and Dalys has proven capable of good performances at times. The problem is the lead up to this match was very uninspiring, largely because it’s always seemed like Dalys was going to make her way here and triumph. We all kind of expect it and thus this match, and thus the whole competition, just feels underwhelming because it’s just going to lead to the same old, same old in the CMLL luchadoras division. And I don’t know about you, but that division isn’t any good outside of talents like Metálica, Avispa Dorada, Kaho Kobayashi (when she’s there) and La Guerrera (when she’s there). There’s a chance for a good match here and a chance for CMLL to make Metálica into something. I just don’t see it. I hope I’m wrong.
Winner: Dalys. I have learned my lesson from last week; Dalys always wins, one way or another. She’ll do so here in three falls.
Ángel de Oro, Diamante Azul, Niebla Roja vs. Cuatrero, Gil Muertes, Sansón
What to Expect: Hey Gil Muertes is back! Oh, and so is Diamante Azul. That’s enough to turn me off of this one sports fans. Azul is hit or miss as is, but since returning from injury he’s been even iffier than usual, his fun senton off the ramp notwithstanding. Throw in the fact that is a midcard match leading to nowhere for any of these guys and I expect little effort outside of a few Oro/Roja-Dinamitas spots and a match that is all sorts of just kind of there.
Winners: Technicos win in three uninspiring falls.
Volador Jr. vs. Forastero
What to Expect: Here is the most interesting match CMLL has put on a Friday since Jushin Liger’s farewell show, and it’s all because this match is our last hope. As the darkness of UG vs. Ciber the Main Man comes closer, Volador vs. Forastero is the lone light at the end of the tunnel that could save us from one of the worst main events in Aniversario history. I know I made the joke last week but it bears repeating again; Volador and Forastero are Obi-Wan Kenobi, and we are all the hologram of Princess Leia.
The funny thing is; I’m not sure if this match is a better option that UG-Ciber because it’s vastly better, or because it’s just something else. The fact of the matter is that this match is interesting not just because it may be an Aniversario preview, but because no one has any clue how good it’ll go. Forastero is a really talented trios luchador, but his singles performances against Soberano Jr. and Cavernario (both top tier luchadores) were vastly underwhelming. Meanwhile Volador Jr., once arguably the best luchador alive, has seemed disinterested for months and a recent performance against Dragón Lee in Puebla (where Volador did work his ass off) revealed that his legs may not be in the best of shape. That’s kind of what makes this so interesting. I don’t think anyone has a clue how this could go; it could be great, it could be a disaster, it could be middling and (knowing how CMLL operates) it could be done in seven minutes after a DQ because CMLL wants to save the best stuff for the big show. No one can say for sure how it’ll go. But because of that, and because it’s not Último Guerrero vs. Ciber the Main Man, we’re all intrigued. A telling sign of the times when this great unknown is what we have to look forward to in CMLL, huh?
Winner: CMLL will giveth and taketh away with this match, first by letting these guys have enough time to show what they can do before ending the match definitively in fall three with Volador picking up the win with a (hopefully) less scary Super Rana than the one he used on Dragón Lee. It’s CMLL; always expect the worst. That’s what I’m doing here.
Carístico, Ciber the Main Man, Valiente vs. Dragón Lee, Mistico, Último Guerrero
What to Expect: As you can see CMLL has surrounded Ciber and the UG with talented luchadores in hopes of producing a good match involving them. It won’t work, mainly because I’m not sure Kenny Omega, Kazuchika Okada or a freakish, Dragon Ball Z esq fusion of the two could make a match with Ciber the Main Man work. Plus this is a CMLL main event which means it’s going only ten minutes at the most. That’s not enough time for Carístico, Valiente, Lee or Mistico to make this into something, which means yet another middling main event to close what looks to be another middling CMLL show. Ugh.
Winners: UG is fouled by Ciber for the DQ, challenges are made and maybe a miracle happens and the match is made for the Gran Prix. LOL just kidding; it’s happening at the Aniversario. There is no Grodd and the cage wasn’t 30 feet. This is life.
And with that I’m off to each lunch, watch iZombie and prepare myself for a preview of Expo Lucha’s Lucha Society X show later. Hopefully that’ll be less depressing than this bad boy. TILL THEN!
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