It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for sports fans. It’s time to preview CMLL’s Monday Show in Puebla, aka the 8th best weekly wrestling show of 2017 according to voters of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter awards! We’re talking a show that was ranked higher than RAW and almost higher than Lucha Underground. THE LU! I’m straight edge, but if I wasn’t I’d love to have some of the stuff those people who voted for Puebla are using. Then again maybe I’m the crazy one; how can you not love a show that features as weird a main event as this one, coupled with a big man match and the appearance of two legendary villains in the opener? Regardless, the 8th best weekly show deserves the best weekly preview, and since everyone else was unavailable I’ve decided to step up. Join me as I break this down while listening to Joe Esposito’s “You’re the Best Around”, a fitting song for a critically acclaimed show like this one! Of course, you can’t listen to the song unless you too go to YouTube and play it, but you can picture me listening to it and I have no idea where I’m going and here’s a Moses picture to distract you from that fact.

 

Astro & Millenium vs. Mini Joker & Saurón

 

What to Expect: A must see match, that’s what! I mean it’s the Dark Lord Saurón himself leaving the confines of Mount Doom to team with the mini version of Batman’s greatest foe. What more do you need?! In all seriousness the actual dude to watch in this match is Astro. He’s long been one of Puebla’s most underrated guys and he’ll at least have one or two “WOW” moments in this match. Besides that, there will be plenty of Batman and Lord of the Rings jokes to make, especially since Saurón looks like he’s really let himself go since Frodo destroyed the one ring. Losing your chance at middle earth domination will do that to a luchador that was once formerly a giant flaming eye.

 

Winners: Anyone who bets against the Dark Lord and the Clown Prince are asking for it. Being an intelligent person, I will not ask for it. Saurón and Joker win in the third fall following Joker eliminating Millenium with fear gas and Saurón rolling up Astro following a distraction from the Nazgul. If you believed any of that, you’re sillier than Millenium taking his name from that weird Chris Carter show. A THOUSAND YEARS IS OVAH! Sorry, had to do that.

 

Arkalis, Astral, Eléctrico vs. Hijo del Signo, Perverso, Policeman

 

What to Expect: Move over Sami Callihan; Policeman, the actual DRAW and the man responsible for Puebla being the 8th best show of 2017 is coming to show you how it’s done. Unfortunately he’s also joined by the craptacular Hijo del Signo and, dirty little secret; Policeman actually isn’t that good himself! That means poor Astral and Eléctrico better hope for a large helping of Perverso, or otherwise they’ll be doing the same song and dance they usually do with Cancerbero and Raziel, only with Policeman and Signo in their place. Arkalis will also be there, though he won’t blame you for not noticing him. Watch at your own risk!

 

Winners: It should be the technicos, which means the rudos are winning in three falls. I smell Signo hitting a Canadian Destroyer on Astral to wrap it up while the lucha community laughs to hold back the tears.

 

Blue Panther Jr., Drone, Stigma vs. Kawato San, Puma, Tiger

 

What to Expect: Normally this would be the best match of the night, which just goes to show you how delightful the following match is going to be. Well that and how much Stigma will be booked to overshadow this match. The sons of college coaches don’t get as many chances to shine over more talented luchadors as Stigma does, and that’s saying something. A college team without at least one of the coach’s son is rarer then a Skándalo appearance these days.

 

 

Anyways, you’ll see a lot of Stigma in this match and by the end you’ll wish you’d have seen more of Junior and Drone, who are both more talented and more interesting than the master of the Backpack Stunner. Fortunately this match should still be fun because it features the dynamic duo of Puma and Tiger, not to mention the quickly improving Kawato San, who seems to be gelling the more he finds himself tagging with the sons of Felino. Kawato will bring the fire, Puma and Tiger will bring their excellent use of double/triple teams and all the technicos will need to do at that point is not mess it up. They will and this will be a fun thirteen minute diversion.

 

Winners: It’s Puebla, it’s a match with Stigma and that means it’ll end with Puma eating a Backpack Stunner in fall three to give Stigma and co. the victory.

 

Kráneo vs. Euforia

 

What to Expect: The antithesis of Imposter Parka/Pagano vs. Dave the Clown/Hijo del Wagner Jr. from Saturday night’s catastrophe in Cuernavaca. Basically it won’t go 29:54, it’ll be funny for the correct reasons, it won’t go 29:54, it’ll feature two guys actually trying and DID I MENTION IT WON’T GO NEARLY A HALF AN HOUR?! That’s an important detail not to overlook. I’ll admit this is an odd match in some ways considering Euforia is a master base while Kráneo is…not someone you’d associate with doing a bunch of dives. But both offer a lot, both always try hard and I foresee them putting together a quirky, spirited effort that serves as the Match of the Evening. If Kráneo manages to bust out a huge dive, I may even be willing to call it great. Hint hint Kráneo, hint hint!

 

Winner: CMLL really seems to be trying to get Kráneo over as a technico in Puebla while keeping him a rudo elsewhere. I have no idea what they’re trying to pull off, but I know enough to say Kráneo will get the job done. He wins with a Banzai Drop in fall three.

 

Ángel de Oro, Matt Taven, Niebla Roja vs. Cuatrero, Mr. Niebla, Sansón

 

What to Expect: Gather around folks for this will be your first chance to see an unmasked Ángel de Oro in action. Spoiler alert; he’s gonna do the exact same shit he did with the mask! It’s basically the same old Ángel de Oro, only he know looks less like Carístico and more like Niebla Roja, minus the dynamic ability and the love for Hector Garza. His shortcomings aside, this match should be fine. The trio action will allow Oro to pace his moves and hide his shortcomings, while plenty of time will be given to Roja and Matt Taven, who looked really good in his return this past Friday. Throw in the Dinamitas doing their usual excellence and the only question is whether or not Niebla shows up to perform or shows up like he’s Heavy Metal before Triplemania II-A. If it’s the former, this will be watchable. If it’s the latter…

 

Image result for uh oh gif

 

Winners: Don’t the losers of the mask match generally get their win back? I say Team Oro wins after Oro taps out Cuatrero with the Billy Goat’s Curse. Perhaps CMLL even uses that to set up a rematch in Puebla next week, which…cool? I really liked the mask match they had, but not enough that I want to see them again. Though I guess if we get Soberano-Cavernario the next day it may all be worth it.

 

Carístico, Gran Guerrero, Mephisto vs. Bestia del Ring, Mistico, Rush

 

What to Expect: If CMLL had any balls this match would be used to set up Carístico vs. Mistico next week. I’m almost tempted to say that is the plan because of course CMLL would do this match in Puebla before Arena Mexico (it’s the CMLL way; inexplicable and odd as hell), but they had the chance to do this match how many times before and thus far it hasn’t happened. I guess we’ll see if it’s different here; frankly it’s the only thing about this match that’s exciting. You know Rush and Mephisto will respectively be in cruise control, Mistico and Gran Guerrero will do one or two things that won’t be enough to save the action and do we even have to go into the epic fail that is Bestia del Ring? In short, CMLL better be setting up Carístico-Mistico: There Can Only Be One or else this match is a giant ass waste of time. Hell it probably is whatever way you slice it. And to think I’ll be staying up till 1 a.m. to see how it all plays out.

 

Image result for mistake gif

 

Winners: I’m going to choose to be delusional and say this match will set up Carístico-Mistico and that that will in fact be the match we get next week instead of Oro-Cuatrero II: Unmask Harder. To that end, I say Mistico and his family are the rudos in this match, which means Mistico unmasks Carístico for the DQ finish in fall three to set it up. Just another night for the 8th best weekly wrestling show according to Wrestling Observer Newsletter voters! Man, Dave needs to really get new voters.

 

Exit stage left sports fans. I’ll see you tomorrow for a preview of the Tuesday show and a review of this show. Always remember it could be worse; you could be watching La Parka/Pagano vs. Dave the Clown/Hijo del Dr. Wagner Jr. for all eternity. Just food for thought. Till next time, THIS!

 

Image result for El Santo gif

 

Please change disks to continue…