I’m not going to sugarcoat it sports fans; this Monday’s CMLL Puebla show looks depressing. Well aside from the third match and the one luchadoras match you’ll want to see this week. Otherwise it’s a show that, over the course of this near 1,500 word preview, made me point out how Arena Puebla is the place where people try lesser than they would normally and makes writers like myself try phrases like “try lesser” even though they may not exist. And on that note I think it might be time to begin before this just devolves into the worst thing I’ve written since that screenplay I did in the eighth grade about high school hockey players. OH GRODD I’VE SAID TOO MUCH ALREADY! Get the meme out Lucha Central overlords!
Astro & Meyer vs. Espíritu Maligno & Rey Apocalipsis
What to Expect: Well…at least it has Astro in it! That and Maligno’s Demus 3:16 cosplay outfit if you’re into that sort of thing. Otherwise this looks to be the usual Puebla opener with no hope and no excitement. And yes, that’s a challenge to Astro (if he’s reading this) to prove me wrong and provide mucho excitement to the proceedings.
Winners: When in doubt, go with the rudos. They take it in three falls.
Príncipe Diamante & Robin vs. El Malayo & King Jaguar
What to Expect: Credit to CMLL; I actually care about watching Príncipe Diamante wrestle a match now after his Copa Nuevos Valores run. Of course he’s stuck in a match with King Jaguar so I’m pretty much stuck with a desire to be hopeful and to turn my computer off and rebuild the Charlotte Hornets in NBA 2K18. They need it sports fans.
In all seriousness, in any other arena I think this match might have a shot. King Jaguar is King Jaguar and that wouldn’t change, but Robin is legitimately good, I’ve seen enough of Diamante now to know he can raise his game and Malayo…well he wrestled twice in one night a few weeks ago and if nothing else you have to respect a guy who does that! Those are good pieces. Unfortunately they’re in Puebla, which may be the best place to do the 8th best weekly show of 2017 (I haven’t forgotten!) but isn’t the place where everyone gives full effort. I expect Robin and Diamante will have one or two moments and this will otherwise be the reboot to that season six episode of Buffy where Dawn acts out. Excuse me while I go stare at a wall in punishment for saying anything involving the Buff was less than excellent.
Winners: And the punishment is over! Or did it even begin? Anyways, Robin and Diamante win this one in three falls after Robin hits a Swanton and Diamante hits a split legged moonsault. Note to all luchadores; unless you’re Rob Van Dam, don’t do that move. It sucks. Hell someone tell Van Dam not to do it any more either, although in that case it’s because he now sucks. True story.
Audaz, Lestat, Tigre Rojo Jr. vs. Disturbio, Kawato San, Virus
What to Expect:
What can I say about this match sports fans that isn’t already said by just looking at who’s in it? We’ve got a maestro, a really solid all rounder, two great Puebla locals, the most exciting young luchadore CMLL has not named Templario and…alright Kawato is the guy who drops people right now but otherwise we’re golden! And while Kawato is to basing as I am to multi-player first person shooters, everything else he does is very good and certain lucha watchers would know that if they, you know, actually watched his stuff in Japan. I’m not giving up on him yet and neither should you. That said, if Audaz, Lestat and Rojo have some big moves planned in this match, CMLL might be wise to let them do it on Disturbio and Virus instead. At least for now!
Winners: CMLL is definitely doing something with Audaz and Virus at some point in the future; I just can’t decide if it’s the immediate one or the one that involves the 85th Aniversario (or something of that nature). Either way let’s go with the technicos winning in three falls after a super sweet Audaz-Virus sequence ends with (unfortunately) our first mask pull DQ finish of the evening.
CMLL Women’s World Championship Match
Dalys (c) vs. Kaho Kobayashi
What to Expect: Hey look; it’s the only exciting one on one luchadoras match CMLL is running this week! Now if only CMLL could recognize that and switch this match with Sugehit-Seductora. I’m not going to guarantee that this match will be great because Dalys, on occasion, does look more mechanical in her wrestling than that robot Wash played in that iRobot movie. But she’s more often than not very good in singles matches and she’s going up against an opponent in Kaho who a) always wrestles like she just drank a six pack of Surge, b) clicks with Dalys really well (I really enjoyed their Lightning Match last week) and c) is really, REALLY good at what she does. The only feeling of disappointment comes from the fact that CMLL isn’t giving the bigger stage in favor of a hair match I’m pretty sure Princesa Sugehit doesn’t even want. Oh well; Arena Mexico’s loss is Arena Puebla’s gain. I anticipate this will be a lot of fun and potentially a breakout performance for Kobayashi if all goes well.
Winner: The people want a Kaho Kobayashi title victory. The people NEED a Kaho Kobayashi title victory! Sadly the people won’t be getting that as Kaho appears to be heading back to Japan in a week or two. Thus Dalys will retain in three falls after connecting on a Swing Bottom, all while I try to hold back the tears because I REALLY want Kaho to win this one. The only thing that would make me sadder would be the Maple Leafs coming back from 3-1 against Boston, only to blow Game 7 again. And that would at least have some dark humor involved.
Atlantis, Diamante Azul, Soberano Jr. vs. Cavernario, Felino, Negro Casas
What to Expect: The best thing about this match existing is that it guarantees Negro Casas will be Dalys’ second in the preceding match. And that’s always a great thing because Casas, in addition to being a wrestling legend, is the Victor Oladipo of seconds. He’s just great at everything!
Now, will he be great enough to make this match great? Probably not. I like a lot of the pieces here and in another setting this could be a solid match. But it’s Puebla, Atlantis still doesn’t seem to be the same guy he was before getting injured and outside of him Soberano is the only dynamic technico in this match. Add all that together and it equals yet another okay match on an Arena Puebla show. Oh and don’t get your hopes up about this setting up a bigger match; that’s what the main event is unfortunately for.
Winners: I’m feeling the technicos here. They take it in three falls after Soberano hits Cavernario with a big dive while Atlantis taps Casas out with La Atlantida and Azul taps Felino with that weird Torture Rack style submission he’s got. I probably should figure out the name of it huh?
Carístico, Kráneo, Último Guerrero vs. Terrible, Valiente, Volador Jr.
What to Expect: I guess there will be some continuation from Carístico having his mask pulled off by Volador last week. Joy? I mean sure, Carístico vs. Volador was a great match in Arena Mexico several times in 2017, but again, those matches were in Arena Mexico. This is not Arena Mexico; it’s Puebla, the place where good matches go to die in case you missed the first 9,000 times I alluded to that. Throw in how many times Carístico and Volador have wrestled and I can’t say I’m that excited about the possibility of them wrestling again next week. Thus I’m not excited about seeing them wrestle in trios action this week in a match that, while featuring a lot of fun talent, will be all build up, a few dives an a DQ finish. Spoiler alert!
Winners: Just like the match with Audaz and Virus, the main event will end on with a technico victory after a mask pull DQ. The only difference is this one will happen in the second fall with Carístico playing the role of Audaz and Volador the role of Virus. Oh and that match will happen next week. I can’t even feign excitement at this point.
Game over sports fans. I’ll see you tomorrow because I’m actually going to review this show. Well that and preview the Tuesday show, which from what I remember looks better than this one. Till then, GO KAHO!
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