We’re going to keep this intro short sports fans. I have a sinus headache, a TEW game to get to and a discussion with my good friend the mizfan about New Japan to get to. Thus we’ll be diving right into this CMLL Puebla preview, which is frankly all about the return of the Microstars, a Templario match and possibly Flyer doing cool shit. That is if he reads this column first. Flyer, dude, read this column before you wrestle! I’m looking forward to the Micros and Templario tearing down the house but I don’t want that to be the only thing. Give us the goods man! And with that this intro has now gone on long enough. To the previewing!
Asturiano & Millenium vs. Ares & Sombra Diabólika
What to Expect: Ares is back? I guess that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no Grodd and the cage wasn’t 30 feet. A shame because take him away and this match…alright it’s still just kind of okay but it’s better than it is now! Maybe Ares will get lost on the way to Puebla and get replaced? Either way Asturiano and Millenium will do less than they could do, Sombra will do Sombra things and this match will fade from all our memories the moment it ends.
Winners: When in doubt, go with the rudos. They take it in three falls.
Flyer & Pegasso vs. Fuerza Chicana & Perverso
What to Expect: What on earth did Flyer do to deserve being placed in this match?! Was he not good enough in the Copa Nuevos Valores or something (spoiler; he was)? And before you go assuming I’m jumping the gun in thinking this is Flyer being punished, look at who he’s in there with! The only reason you go from the finals of a tournament to having to carry Fuerza Chicana’s old ass is if someone is mad at you. Whatever the case, I hope you’re listening out there Flyer cause we need you to do us a favor; try your ass off in this match! Pegasso can only do so much, Chicana is to lucha what Dr. Pepper is to soda and Perverso…alright he’s fine but that’s just one guy. You’re pretty damn good when you want to be Flyer. Be that luchadore in this match tomorrow.
Winners: The most CMLL thing to do would be for Fuerza Chicana to pin Flyer. Naturally you can expect that to happen. The rudos win this in three falls after Chicana pins Flyer and I get arrest for vandalism after flying into fits of rage.
Ángel & El Gallito vs. Atomo & El Guapito
What to Expect: I have not seen today’s CMLL show from Arena Mexico (which was surprisingly streamed) as of this writing, but the word is that the Microstars absolutely tore the house down yet again. As such, I’m going into this match the same way I left the theater after Infinity War yesterday.
Now here’s the problem; this match doesn’t feature Microman. That wouldn’t normally seem to be a big deal except Microman is like Atlantis, El Santo, all six dudes from the AAA Tijuana opener and Gary Oldman in True Romance combined. At this point I’m not sure there’s anything Microman could do to get the lucha community to turn against him. As such the Micro matches lose a little bit when he’s not there. That said I still think this should be a whole lot of fun, especially considering how good El Gallito is. And even if it’s not, so what? This is the gorram Microstars sports fans; if you don’t have fun watching them then I can only assume you have no soul. That sounds harsh but search your feelings and you’ll find it to be true.
Winners: This is the grand conclusion of the Kids Day shows; I have a better chance of scoring a date with Yvonne Strahovski then the rudos do of winning this match. Ángel and El Gallito take it in a fall with some cool sequence of moves. I’ll be honest; it’s been so long I forgot what moves they do! Memo to CMLL that it shouldn’t be an endless amount of time between Microstar matches.
Fuego, Guerrero Maya Jr., Stigma vs. Dragón Rojo Jr., Pólvora, Templario
What to Expect: I’m torn on this one. On the one hand you know CMLL is going to sideline Fuego and Maya so that Stigma can get most of the offense, a depressing direction considering Maya and Fuego both smoke Stigma in terms of ability. On the other hand, Templario is in this match and at this point I’m pretty sure he could carry me to a good match. And I have the athleticism of a video game case. So while I’m not looking forward to Stigma getting way too much offense for his own good, we can at least be confident in the fact that Templario will get some great sequences out of whomever he works with and make this, aside from the Micro’s match, the best thing on the show. Plus he’ll also get to team with Dragón Rojo Jr. and Pólvora again, a really pairing just this past Tuesday. Have Rojo and Pólvora offered him a spot in Los Revolucionarios yet? They better have; I need Templario with an oversized hat and gun post haste!
Winners: Stigma in Arena Puebla; need I say more? His team wins in three falls after he hits Templario with a Backpack Stunner. I’m getting angry shivers just thinking about it.
Atlantis, Diamante Azul, Rush vs. Euforia, Gran Guerrero, Rey Bucanero
What to Expect: This is one of those matches that looks really nice on paper but deep down is as appealing as a warm and flat Sunkist. Basically it’s the Nickelback of matches.
Now yes, that may sound harsh. Just like that other harsh thing I said earlier, just because something stings doesn’t make it true. And I see nothing here that makes this match appealing outside of a few spots where Euforia bases for one of the three technicos. Otherwise you know what you’re getting here. Rush will brawl, Diamante Azul will Monkey Flip, Gran Guerrero will do a few impressive things, Rey Rey Buc will make us long for the Rey Rey Buc of ten years ago and Atlantis will continue to make me sad because just like the Sopranos, it’s over for him. At least until the next big match he has I guess, and unfortunately this Monday will not be that match. Watch only if you’re interested in seeing what CMLL looks like at its most average.
Winners: The finish is unpredictable only because you never know if Rush is going to betray his teammates or not. I say he does for this occasion, allowing Big Euf, GG and Rey Rey Buc to pick up the win in three falls.
Terrible, Valiente, Volador Jr. vs. Carístico, Kráneo, Último Guerrero
What to Expect: My memory is a bit hazy sports fans, but I’m pretty sure this is a rematch of last week’s show where Terrible, Valiente and Volador wrestled as the rudos for most of the match…only to then turn technico at the end because UG low blowed Volador. If that is indeed the case (and it is) then I have next to zero interest in this match. It’s got some good people in it for sure and if CMLL takes it seriously then this could be something. Chances are however we’ll get the same inconsistency in booking during the match we got last week, and even if we don’t, the other major possibility is that CMLL will use this bout to set up a big singles match the next week anyway. So yeah; this will be a waste of time as well, though hopefully it does lead to something worthwhile.
Winners: My head tells me CMLL is setting up yet another Carístico-Volador match, which would be fine if it were anywhere but Arena Puebla on a Monday night. My heart tells me it’ll be Terrible and the UG, which would be super because that’s both a fresh match up and HOLY STAREDOWN BATMAN! Considering both those options, I bet we can expect something in the middle. So look for Kráneo to pin Terrible in fall three to set up a Heavyweight Championship match on next week’s show.
That’s game sports fans. I’ll see you tomorrow for the Puebla review and the Tuesday show preview. Till we meet again, THIS!
Please change disks to continue…