It’s that time again sports fans! The part where I once again do this Animaniacs thing because I am legit that lame? No; it’s time for another Live Review brought to you by the fine folks at Lucha Central. Tonight it’s for AAA vs. Elite, the biggest cross promotional battle since Lex Luthor manipulated Batman against Superman. Luckily both their mom’s were named Martha so they were able to sort that shit out. The point is, this is a big night for both AAA and Elite (or whatever is left of Elite), with new faces battling old faces, surprises, LA Park and probably a side order of crazy. It’s going to be fun and I’m here to keep track of it all for those of you who like reading a column while the show is going on or can’t view it and want to picture what it’s like through my writing. Way to put all that pressure on yourself now Cult. And with that let’s get started before I start singing “The Warrior” from GLOW again. Never mind I’m about to do it. SHOOTING AT THE WALLS OF HEART ACHE, BANG BANG! I AM THE WARRIOR!
Faby Apache, La Hiedra, Vanilla defeated Keyra, Lady Maravilla, Zeuxis
Talk about a wild start. I’m not sure AAA’s recent trend of great openers continued, but then again this isn’t the usual AAA show so we’ll let it slide. It was still pretty rad up until the end though. La Hiedra and Vanilla were very much supporting players in this shindig but that was fine when Faby, Keyra, Maravilla and the Queen herself were all on their A game. Faby wrestled this like she was going to will it to a great match, being ultra stiff and ultra aggressive throughout. Luckily the rudas followed suit; Keyra had moments where she just absolutely wrecked Vanilla, Maravilla had some great moments and despite a slip on a knee attack Zeuxis looked as good as ever. The only issue with this match was the end. Faby destroyed Zeuxis on numerous moves, Zeuxis managed to kick out of them (only I’m not sure she was supposed to), Hiedra and Vanilla were celebrating before they actually won and that last powerbomb by Faby was super stiff. And that’s before we bring up that Zeuxis’ shoulders weren’t down on that three count. It was really strange and it makes you wonder if something went off book. Even with that though the work of Faby, Keyra, Maravilla and Zeuxis was enough to make this a fun match, and I really enjoyed the post match brawl where Lady Shani came out to brawl with Faby. Well minus the obvious blading spots. Like come on AAA; I have no problem with some color but at least try to hide it!
Trauma I & Trauma II defeated La Máscara & Máximo
This match was so short, the Nathan Fillion Uncharted short film lapped it nearly three times. That short! I won’t shed too many tears though because this was largely built around Máximo and Máscara on offense, which still remains a very uninteresting thing in AAA circa 2018. They both tried, the Traumas tried and the ending made sense given where they’re going; it just wasn’t altogether interesting. What was interesting was the post match, where Cage and Kevin Kross (not advertised for the show) ran out and wrecked everyone (wearing the Elite armband to make everyone think they were team Elite, followed by Konnan, Jack Evans and Teddy Hart coming out. Things kind of went off the rails at that point with promos, Vampiro coming out to get his ass kicked and then finally picked up when Los OGT’s came out for the save. I guess we’re heading towards the OGT’s (and Vamp because of course he must be involved) vs. some incarnation of the MAD side? Who knows. It was more interesting than the match at least, even if it should’ve been five minutes shorter.
El Hijo de LA Park & Taurus defeated Aerostar & Argenis
I was feeling pretty down on this show before this match. Then these four went out there and by the end I was like…
This wasn’t the cleanest match in history sports fans; Aerostar and Taurus both came up a bit short on two separate dive attempts (although on replay Taurus’ didn’t look nearly as bad) and there were a few iffy moments in ring. But overall this was an absolute banger. Argenis and Hijo de LA Park were the weak links but that’s mostly because they don’t have the flash of Aerostar and Taurus; overall I thought they both did very well with Argenis especially surprising me. I would’ve preferred about a hundred other luchadores in his spot when he came out but he was frankly the smoothest guy in the match and did everything asked of him. The stars were Taurus and Aerostar. They had the iffy moments but they also had the wow moments, with Taurus coming off as a mega star in everything he did (which is almost everything; I’m not sure there’s a style he doesn’t know). He would’ve been the MVP if Aerostar hadn’t defied gravity again with Brillo (or was it a double Brillo) Hurricanrana that needs to be seen to be believed. Stuff like that, a whole plethora of other impressive spots and just the overall effort of all four guys made this quite the match. And then naturally because it’s AAA we got a shit ton of run ins after, with La Parka Negra attacking Hijo de Park and Cage and Kross once again coming out to attack everyone. Not sure why that one was necessary but the Park-Parka Negra stuff is at least intriguing.
Jack Evans & Teddy Hart defeated Joe Lider & Pagano
Talk about exceeding expectations! I was excited for this match but only because it was the Hart Foundation 2.0 reunion in Mexico I have been waiting for. It wound up being significantly better than I expected, if also quite dangerous at points. Jack and Teddy were GREAT in this match, all caps. Their offense remains as great as ever, Jack smoking blunts and cigarettes and different intervals of this match was priceless and most importantly they bumped their asses off for Lider and Pagano. They went out there with the full intent of delivering the goods for themselves and their opponents and they did. To their credit Pagano and Lider were much better than expected. Lider seems to have a renewed energy about him these last few shows; other than his table spot (where he took the brunt instead of Teddy and cut up his arm) he was relatively crisp. And Pagano did was he always did; tried hard, looked good at points, looked awful at others and almost died after a Canadian Destroyer spot on the apron where Pagano kinda sorta missed the apron. Or as I like to call it, the exact way I expected that spot between him and Teddy to go. Medical treated the spot seriously by taking Pagano out quickly but he didn’t appear to hit his head at any point so he should be okay. It was a wild, out of control spot that wasn’t necessary, but take that away and everything else was overall a lot of fun. Much better than I expected, which makes me happy because TEDDY JACK!
Rey Escorpión & Texano Jr. defeated Golden Magic & Laredo Kid
I’m kind of just speechless sports fans. This match was going really well for the seven minutes it was allowed to properly function. Escorpión and Texano were beastly as usual, Laredo Kid was awesome and Golden Magic finally put it all together, culminating a great performance with a moonsault off the light stand WHERE HE LANDED ON HIS FEET! HE WAS FIFTEEN FEET UP AND HE STUCK THE LANDING! This was on the way to being the best match of the night…and then inexplicably Cage and Kross ran back down to interfere again. And then the entire AAA locker room emptied out. And the Taurus, who was attacked by Cage and Kross less than an hour ago, was suddenly helping them! And then everyone left, the match continued anyway, Escorpión and Texano won and I’M COMPLETELY LOST!
Look I’m a big proponent of MAD; I think it’s a great idea and I think it can still work. But this interference was overkill, the stuff with Taurus made no sense, Cage and Kross backing down from Imposter La Parka was dumb and the whole thing was quite frankly dumb because it interrupted what was a really fun match to that point. After that occurred the match was DOA and so was my interest. Not a good move AAA and I’m honestly left only feeling sorry for Magic, Laredo Kid, Escorpión and Texano, who were putting on a hell of an effort until things had to give way to the overbooking express.
Electroshock, LA Park, Puma King defeated Dr. Wagner Jr., El Hijo del Fantasma, Psycho Clown
Your eyes do not deceive you sports fans; that is indeed Puma King’s name on the Elite side. Just a few days after leaving CMLL Puma showed up at AAA and I dare say it’s already working out better for him. Not only did he headline this show (something he never did in CMLL) but he was allowed to get long stretches of offense on Psycho Clown and Dr. Wagner Jr. If you had told me last week that he’d be getting to do that I’d have assumed CMLL underwent a top secret management change or I had finally discovered one of those alternate universes where everything goes the way you want it to go. Of course if that were the case there’d be orange sodas everywhere and my screenplay would be finished.
So yeah; Puma was the surprise and it was a welcome one because this match turned out to be pretty good. I’d still have it about third best on the card (I liked the Aerostar and Hart Foundation matches better) but it was an AAA main event done right; lots of brawling, some cool spots, great heat and not so much overbooking that you want to drown yourself because of it. The biggest winner of it all may well have been Electroshock; there were times I legit forgot he was in this match and he can still say he was in a pretty decent match in 2018 because of the efforts of the other five guys. And the effort was great; Wagner hasn’t been better in 2018, Psycho and Fantasma stepped up in the big situation, Puma was Puma and LA Park was gorram LA Park, bumping huge and wiping people off the face of the earth. I didn’t even mind the ending that much, probably because Fantasma betraying Psycho via low bow was tame compared to some of the endings. Honestly this match perfectly summed up the show now that I think of it. It was wild, at times out of control and not always what I would’ve done, but it ended up being a lot of fun and was overall enjoyable. It also did help build the Psycho-Fantasma issue (which looks to be the focal point of the Triplemania main event) and it instantly established Puma as legitimate. Silly me, I don’t think this will be the last we see of Puma in AAA. Just a feeling.
That was AAA vs. Elite. For those keeping score, Elite actually won 4-2. Hell of a job by AAA actually letting a rival opponent get the better of them! It wasn’t a perfect show; the MAD run ins were a bit much (and actively torpedoed a good match), the show took a bit to really click, I don’t think there was a match that 100% nailed it and for the love of Grodd, why did Taurus help MAD after they attacked him? I MUST KNOW! But the return of The Hart Foundation 2.0 was fun (and better than expected), Aerostar had the spot of the millennium, the women’s opener was fun with a weird ending, Puma had one of the best nights of his career and the main event delivered. AAA will always drive you a little bit crazy but overall this was a good show and a big step up from CMLL last night, which I didn’t think would be the case after that first MAD promo.
And scene. I’m off to catch some z’s sports fans. Till next time, the most epic photo in wrestling history.
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